2010-07-31T02:12:35+00:00 2009-08-24T03:48:14+00:00 2010-07-29T08:47:16+00:00

We're on a really tight budget. Is it smart to hire a photography student or ask one of our guests who's an amateur photographer to take pictures?

2009-08-24T03:44:45+00:00 2010-07-26T08:03:51+00:00

<p>I don't wear makeup -- ever. My wedding is in March and it will be hot, plus, my face will be tan. What should I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:45+00:00 2010-07-26T07:57:05+00:00

<p>I have always had very dry skin (so dry it flakes), especially in the winter. I am planning a winter wedding and I don't want my skin to flake off on my dress. I have tried everything (from expensive creams to vitamin E oil). What can I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:24+00:00 2010-07-23T08:10:24+00:00

<p>I would like a violinist to perform at my outdoor ceremony, but I haven't the slightest idea how to go about finding one. Any ideas?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:46+00:00 2010-07-15T04:05:00+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I both have divorced parents, so we decided to split the wedding costs five ways (and they agreed). We felt we should contribute since it is our wedding. The problem is that his sister is getting married a few months before us, and we don't think she and her fianc&eacute; are contributing to their own wedding. How can we approach this with my fianc&eacute;'s parents? It wouldn't be fair for us to struggle to save for our wedding when my future sister-in-law is getting a free ride. Help!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:32+00:00 2010-07-15T04:00:48+00:00

<p>I'm thinking of popping the question to my girlfriend soon. My problem is that her parents live in Mackay and I live in Brisbane. How should I go about telling her parents that I plan to ask her to marry me? What is the proper way to do this? Would asking them in a letter or over the phone be too impersonal? Please help.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:10+00:00 2010-07-06T07:58:20+00:00

<p>What are the rules of dress for a 37-year-old first time bride? I'm not really comfortable wearing white because I have two children. I have considered wearing a black and white evening gown (it will be an evening wedding), but my sisters feel that black is totally inappropriate for a wedding, no matter how old the bride is or how many kids she has. Any thoughts?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:12+00:00 2010-06-15T11:26:45+00:00

<p>How do I transport my gown to my destination?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:10+00:00 2010-06-15T05:44:39+00:00

<p>I'm getting married for the first time and I have a little girl. All the guests know about her, but most are trying to convince me to exclude her from the wedding and not to wear white. I really want my daughter to be involved -- I'm not ashamed of her. What role should she play (she'll be 18 months old), and can I wear a traditional dress?</p>

The Knot 2010-06-07T06:38:36+00:00 2010-06-07T06:38:36+00:00

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2009-08-24T03:45:58+00:00 2010-05-25T01:05:42+00:00

<p>Approximately how much of my budget should I anticipate spending on my wedding flowers?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:50:40+00:00 2010-05-06T05:29:08+00:00

<p>My wedding photographer told me that she and her assistant expect meals during the reception. I'm paying them a lot for their services. Am I supposed to pay for their meals, and meals for other suppliers, like the band I hired?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:56+00:00 2010-04-28T10:46:06+00:00

<p>I'm 37, and I'll soon be marrying for the first time (I'll actually be 38 by the time I get married). I wanted to ask a few friends to be my bridesmaids, but when I mentioned it to a friend, she acted surprised and rather rudely indicated that she thought I was too old for bridesmaids. It's really gotten to me -- is she right?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:14+00:00 2010-04-12T08:39:17+00:00

<p>What is an appropriate amount to pay the celebrant?</p>

The Knot 2010-04-12T06:04:45+00:00 2010-04-12T06:04:45+00:00

2010-04-12T06:03:12+00:00 2010-04-12T06:03:12+00:00

2010-04-12T06:01:43+00:00 2010-04-12T06:01:43+00:00

2010-04-12T05:22:30+00:00 2010-04-12T05:22:30+00:00

2009-08-24T03:44:31+00:00 2010-03-27T12:47:40+00:00

What do you say when people ask you why you are getting married or tell you to wait? I am still in college, but I've been engaged for two years. As my wedding date approaches, I'm asked this question more and more. I know what I'm doing with my life. How should I respond to this??

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:05+00:00 2010-03-25T04:22:02+00:00

<p>I can't seem to find white shoes that I like anywhere, and I need to settle on a pair soon so I can have my final fittings done while wearing the right heels. Is it way too tacky to wear shoes that aren't white?</p>

2009-08-24T03:50:37+00:00 2010-03-19T08:35:56+00:00

<p>Should we tip our suppliers? My fianc&eacute; says that it seems crazy since we're already paying so much for their services, but at the same time, I know they're working really hard and I don't want us to seem impolite.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:57+00:00 2010-01-15T08:19:56+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> is seriously allergic to flowers. If my bridesmaids and I can't carry flowers, what should we use instead?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:54+00:00 2010-01-13T01:25:04+00:00

<p>I asked my future husband's sister to be one of my bridesmaids, and she agreed. After about a month she backed out because we didn't ask her live-in boyfriend to be in the wedding party, and he was hurt. We don't know him that well. This has caused some hard feelings. The family feels we're wrong and that we should have just let him be a part of everything. Are we wrong, and is there anything we can do to make everyone happy?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:11+00:00 2010-01-09T10:08:56+00:00

<p>I'm looking for a wedding dress I can wear on the beach. Instead of a traditional dress, I'd like something lightweight and simple. What kind of style should I be looking for?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:45+00:00 2010-01-06T01:26:53+00:00

<p>My parents have been pressuring me to talk to my fianc&eacute; about signing a prenuptial agreement. They're planning on passing a sizeable inheritance on to me, and want to be sure I'm protecting my assets. As much as I don't want to think about that kind of worst case scenario right now, I know they're right. How do I bring it up with him?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:46+00:00 2010-01-06T01:26:11+00:00

<p>I've been shaving my bikini line and it's not looking so hot -- lots of red bumps. I'm thinking about having it waxed before the honeymoon. Does it hurt?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:10+00:00 2009-12-29T22:54:42+00:00

<p>I am trying to lose a lot of weight in time for my wedding (six months from now). The problem is that I feel pressured to get my dress soon (because of the 3-4 months it takes for one to come in). I don't want to have to buy a size that fits me now or get a style that would flatter my current shape. I'm embarrassed to even make an appointment at an upscale shop (I've only gone to discount places where they leave you alone). My family and close friends are out of state, which is why I have to go alone. Help!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:02+00:00 2009-12-08T05:04:52+00:00

<p>Do bridesmaids have to pay for their own dresses?</p>

The Knot 2009-10-17T10:18:37+00:00 2009-12-08T00:45:59+00:00

2009-10-17T10:18:31+00:00 2009-12-08T00:45:58+00:00

2009-10-17T10:18:29+00:00 2009-12-08T00:45:58+00:00

2009-10-17T10:19:04+00:00 2009-12-08T00:45:49+00:00

2009-10-17T10:19:20+00:00 2009-12-08T00:45:48+00:00

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2009-10-17T10:19:25+00:00 2009-12-08T00:45:48+00:00

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2009-10-17T10:18:58+00:00 2009-12-08T00:45:48+00:00

2009-10-17T10:19:05+00:00 2009-12-08T00:45:48+00:00

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2009-10-17T10:18:30+00:00 2009-12-08T00:45:26+00:00

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2009-10-17T10:19:18+00:00 2009-12-08T00:45:14+00:00

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2009-10-17T10:18:53+00:00 2009-12-08T00:45:11+00:00

2009-08-24T03:45:37+00:00 2009-12-04T02:26:24+00:00

<p>I've heard that during the less popular times of the year, reception sites often have cheaper rates for weddings. What are the "off" months?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:30+00:00 2009-12-04T02:24:20+00:00

<p>I'm not certain about the order of events at the reception. Could you please give a rough timeline of the following events: receiving line, cocktail hour, first dance, champagne toast, best man's and maid of honour's speeches, dinner, cake cutting? I'm so clueless!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:02+00:00 2009-12-04T02:23:20+00:00

<p>How do we inform guests that only adults 18 and over are invited to our reception? Is it okay to write "adult reception" on the invitations?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:45+00:00 2009-12-03T02:43:38+00:00

<p>I have problem skin that erupts without warning. I was wondering if it's a good idea to get a facial right before my wedding. If not, are there other ways to make sure my skin stays clear?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:26+00:00 2009-11-17T15:29:16+00:00

<p>I am an emotional person and cry very easily. I went to a wedding this weekend and cried -- and these were not even close friends! I'm getting married in less than a year and I know that I will cry profusely. Are there any products such as eyedrops or <em>something</em> that will keep me from crying, or from crying so <em>much</em>?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:47+00:00 2009-11-10T00:24:10+00:00

<p>I'm having an evening wedding in January at a mountain lodge. The ceremony and reception will be outside under a tent, and I'm worried about mosquitoes. What can I do to ensure my guests won't be eaten alive?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:43+00:00 2009-11-10T00:14:08+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I's parents have agreed to split the costs of the whole wedding and reception (yay!). Now how do we figure out who pays for what? Are there rules we should follow?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:51+00:00 2009-11-09T04:15:34+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I recently registered at two department stores, and we're having a bit of a problem when it comes to letting guests know where we're registered. I'm not having a bridal shower, and I'm definitely not going to send registry cards in the invitations, so my question is: How do we let people know?</p>

Chelsea Tromans 2009-08-24T03:49:19+00:00 2009-11-09T04:08:08+00:00

<p>We are ready to send out our invitations. The only problem is that we don't know whether we should include a card stating where we are registered. In the past, I have received some invitations with one and some without.</p>

Chelsea Tromans 2009-08-24T03:46:57+00:00 2009-11-09T04:02:44+00:00

<p>Is it okay to enclose a card from the store where the bride is registered in the shower invitation?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:04+00:00 2009-11-09T03:55:58+00:00

<p>I absolutely adore one of my friends and must include this person in my wedding party. I want this person to stand on my side. The problem: he's male. What do I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:41+00:00 2009-11-09T03:54:15+00:00

<p>In the movies, the bride and groom always make a mad dash from the reception to the airport just as the band starts to heat up. My fianc&eacute; and I want to stick around until the end of the night -- and even a few days later to hang with out of town guests and settle some of our affairs before we head off on our honeymoon. Is this okay?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:55+00:00 2009-11-09T03:52:13+00:00

<p>I would really like to give favours to my guests at the reception. However, we are having a buffet style dinner with no assigned seating. How do I make sure that everyone gets a bomboniere?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:20+00:00 2009-11-09T03:47:43+00:00

<p>In our ceremony site search we came across a lovely garden that is on state property. Rather than an outright fee to use the garden, there is a "required donation" (of any amount) to the foundation which built and maintains the garden. How should we determine what amount is appropriate for us to give them?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:44+00:00 2009-10-28T00:08:35+00:00

<p>My maid of honour recently told me that she's too stressed out planning my bridal shower to also plan a hens night. I thought it was a bit rude, but also, I've really been looking forward to having a fun last night out. Would it be wrong for me to drop a hint with another bridesmaid that I would like one?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:35+00:00 2009-10-28T00:06:58+00:00

<p>At a bucks party, the best man typically charges per head for drinks and entertainment. Is it proper etiquette to charge per head at a hens party, or should the maid of honour foot the entire bill?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:34+00:00 2009-10-28T00:05:15+00:00

<p>Neither my fianc&eacute; nor I are interested in having a buck's or a hen's party. Still, our friends want to do <em>something</em> for us. Would it be strange to have a joint party?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:16+00:00 2009-10-28T00:03:26+00:00

<p>I am an out-of-state bridesmaid who cannot attend the hens party. Should I still be helping the maid of honour (MOH) pay for the party?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:16+00:00 2009-10-28T00:02:01+00:00

<p>I love the posh hen's party my maid of honour has planned, but I'm worried it'll leave too many of my friends out &ndash;- with the amount everyone's already shelled out for bridesmaid dresses, wedding gifts, and everything else, I know some of my maids won't have enough dough for a spa weekend on top of it all. What should I do?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:16+00:00 2009-10-28T00:00:40+00:00

<p>As the maid of honour, I'm planning a hen's party that will take place in another city. Am I supposed to pay for the bride's air fare? Is there anything else I'm expected to pay for?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:16+00:00 2009-10-27T23:59:34+00:00

<p>My mother says that nice girls do not have hens parties because of what may happen on that particular night. Is it proper for women to celebrate the last night of singlehood by having a hen's party? Men do it and have far raunchier, beer-driven parties than we would!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:11+00:00 2009-10-20T23:47:13+00:00

<p>I've noticed that hemlines seem to be rising on the bridal runways -- some of these dresses are even verging on mini! I want to go trendy with my bridal style, but is a super short dress really an okay choice to wear down the aisle?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:33+00:00 2009-10-20T23:41:59+00:00

<p>We like the look of mixed metals in rings, but can't afford platinum. Any ideas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:09+00:00 2009-10-20T23:40:40+00:00

<p>I'm somewhat hippy with a very small waist. Everybody tells me to go with an A-line dress, but I don't particularly care for them. Is there an alternative for my figure?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:09+00:00 2009-10-20T23:34:00+00:00

<p>I'm thinking about selling my dress after the wedding. How would I go about doing this?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:08+00:00 2009-10-20T23:33:56+00:00

<p>I found my dream dress. It has no lace, no buttons, no bows. Why does it cost so much?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:25+00:00 2009-10-19T10:52:04+00:00

<p>Neither my fianc&eacute; nor I dance -- a sad case of four left feet! Is dancing required at a wedding? Isn't great food and good conversation enough?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:08+00:00 2009-10-15T06:56:13+00:00

<p>My fiance and I are Asian-American. After our 11 a.m. ceremony, we are having a Western-style reception followed by a traditional Chinese banquet later that evening. My question is: How can I fit three different events and locations on my invitations? I have read that putting the reception on the invitation is only appropriate when it is at the same location as the ceremony.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-07T02:47:47+00:00 2009-10-10T15:15:40+00:00

Does the groom pitch in funds? Can you leave people off the guest list? Even bachelor parties have some semblance of rules.

Robert Mortiz 2009-08-24T03:47:18+00:00 2009-10-10T02:02:41+00:00

<p>My husband-to-be is Greek Orthodox and I am a firm agnostic. How can we include his ethnic and religious rituals in our wedding without making my family faint (e.g., Mum would pass out if the wedding is in a church)? I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable, but I want to ensure a balanced ceremony with rituals that are important to both of us. Also, there are things we can't do anyway because of the restrictions of the Greek Church (I wasn't baptised). Help!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:22+00:00 2009-10-10T02:02:06+00:00

<p>We are having a Jewish-Catholic wedding with a priest and a rabbi. Which traditions are most easily incorporated into the ceremony? I am familiar with the traditions of a Jewish ceremony but need help with Catholic traditions, as I would like to make my future husband's family comfortable.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:31+00:00 2009-10-10T01:43:13+00:00

<p>Who gets invited to the engagement party?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:31+00:00 2009-10-10T01:43:06+00:00

<p>What kind of gift is proper to take to an engagement party?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:32+00:00 2009-10-10T01:42:56+00:00

<p>Is it appropriate for a couple to initiate their own engagement party or is someone from either of the families supposed to do that?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:32+00:00 2009-10-10T01:42:46+00:00

<p>Is it appropriate to register in time for our engagement party? I have been told that it's a social no-no to register this early.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:54+00:00 2009-10-09T03:03:52+00:00

<p>I really don't want my guests throwing rice or birdseed when we leave the church. Are there any other festive ways our friends and family can bid us adieu?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:39+00:00 2009-10-09T03:03:18+00:00

<p>My wedding is going to be a formal evening affair at a lovely club, but I am having a tough time selecting an entr<em>&eacute;</em>e for the reception. My future mother-in-law (who is paying for almost our entire wedding) said to just select a chicken dish, and not get hung up on serving something fancy. She is being a real stickler on this point. I know that "everyone likes chicken", but I was hoping for something a little different. Are there any other options you can suggest?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:05+00:00 2009-10-09T03:02:48+00:00

<p>I am considering an outdoor wedding in July. My concern is the unpredictable weather at that time of year. I can make backup arrangements, but how do I handle this on the invitations? Is it wrong to put a second location "in case of bad weather" on the invites, so guests will know?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:47+00:00 2009-10-09T03:02:30+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are paying for most of our wedding and we are on a tight budget. We would like to invite as many people as possible, which makes it tough to invite singles with guests. Is it acceptable to invite single family and friends but not include "and guest" on their invitations? My fianc&eacute; says we have to allow people to bring a guest out of courtesy. I just don't want to eliminate people just because we're obligated to let them bring a guest that we can't afford. What should we do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:37+00:00 2009-10-09T03:02:07+00:00

<p>We are having a small destination wedding, and one of my sisters thinks it&rsquo;s okay for her to bring her boyfriend. The whole reason for marrying away from home was to do it on our own -- but now the guest list has jumped to 14! I want my sister to attend, but I don't want her to bring her boyfriend. Not only do he and I not get along, the rest of my family doesn't want him there either! How can I tell her without making her feel like she can't come?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:43+00:00 2009-10-09T03:01:47+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> designs surfboards, I work in finance. In our case, opposites definitely attract! The problem is that we can't agree on a level of formality for our wedding. I envision a black tie affair, he wants to wear khakis and go barefoot. Help!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:15+00:00 2009-10-09T03:01:29+00:00

<p>We are considering an overseas wedding. Is the cost always astronomical, or is it possible to keep it more reasonable than in Australia? Either way we want a small wedding.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:10+00:00 2009-10-09T03:00:55+00:00

<p>What is the appropriate way to include guests' children on the outer envelope of an invitation? Should I address it as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family," list the children's names, or eliminate the children's names altogether?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:09+00:00 2009-10-09T03:00:43+00:00

<p>How do you address an invitation to a doctor?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:02+00:00 2009-10-09T03:00:30+00:00

<p>How do you address an invitation to an unmarried couple living together?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:08+00:00 2009-10-09T03:00:13+00:00

<p>How should you address an invitation to a widow? What about a divorced woman who has retained her married name? Last question: What about those who are bringing significant others that do not live with them? Can I send just one invitation, or do I have to send one to each of them?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:02+00:00 2009-10-09T02:59:52+00:00

<p>How do you address a person who is a PhD? Is it Dr. Mark Donovan or Mr. Mark Donovan, PhD? I haven't seen this question answered in any books or magazines.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:05+00:00 2009-10-09T02:59:38+00:00

<p>How do you address an outer envelope if the husband and wife are both in the military? What if only the husband is?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:14+00:00 2009-10-09T02:59:12+00:00

<p>What is the appropriate way of addressing an envelope to married couples? I have always thought that using, &ldquo;Mr. &amp; Mrs. John Doe&rdquo; was correct. Can you address the envelope as, &ldquo;Mr. &amp; Mrs. John &amp; Jane Doe&rdquo;, or is this tacky? And shouldn't people over 18 get their own invitation even if they're living at home with parents?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:12+00:00 2009-10-09T02:58:54+00:00

<p>How do you address an invitation to a gay or lesbian couple?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:49+00:00 2009-10-09T02:58:32+00:00

<p>We've got more friends and family that we'd like to honour than we could possibly have as attendants -- half the wedding would be standing at the front of the church! What other special roles can we give to friends and family who we can't include in the wedding party?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:33+00:00 2009-10-09T02:58:17+00:00

<p>My Catholic church holds wedding ceremonies on Saturdays only, at 10 a.m., noon, and 2 p.m. Almost all of the 2 p.m. slots have been booked way in advance. This leaves me with an earlier time slot. I would like to have a very formal sunset dinner reception, but there will be too much time between the ceremony and the reception. How do I handle this? I do not want to have a lunch reception: All but two of the guests will travel 2,000 kilometres to be here, and it's very important that I host a dinner reception for them.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:41+00:00 2009-10-09T02:58:00+00:00

<p>We are having a late morning ceremony, followed by a lunch reception. The atmosphere will be that of a garden party. We are planning on offering champagne during the cocktail hour and wine with lunch. Is it bad form not to have a full bar as well? Hard alcohol seems a bit excessive at that hour and in that atmosphere.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:54+00:00 2009-10-09T02:57:45+00:00

<p>For wedding bombonieres, I chose silver picture frames that will also hold guest place cards. The problem is that a friend of mine whose wedding is three months before ours is doing the same thing! She has been somewhat competitive about our weddings, and we have invited several of the same guests. Should I keep the frames or select new bombonieres?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:02+00:00 2009-10-09T02:57:14+00:00

<p>I have a friend who is overweight, and I want her to be in my wedding. The problem is, I want to find a pretty dress that will flatter her and make her feel comfortable. Can you help?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:03+00:00 2009-10-09T02:56:42+00:00

<p>I have bridesmaids of all sizes. What dress style will make them all look and feel good?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:41+00:00 2009-10-09T02:56:24+00:00

<p>What are the benefits of working with a wedding consultant?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:31+00:00 2009-10-09T02:56:03+00:00

<p>I am having a buffet style reception. Is it necessary to have seating arrangements, or should I let guests sit wherever they want?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:30+00:00 2009-10-09T02:54:48+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are trying to cut down on costs. His father happens to be a professional photographer. Do you think it would be okay for him to be the photographer on our wedding day?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:46+00:00 2009-10-09T02:54:29+00:00

<p>I'm working out a budget for my wedding, and my parents are deceased. Would it be correct etiquette to ask my siblings, who are all 10 or more years older than I am, to help pay for the expenses that are usually paid for by the bride's parents?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:43+00:00 2009-10-09T02:54:15+00:00

<p>We are thinking about having our ceremony performed at a local state park, which has an entrance fee of $5 per vehicle. We are working with a very tight budget and cannot afford to pay this fee for all of our guests. Is it inappropriate to request that my guests pay their own entry fee?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:27+00:00 2009-10-09T02:53:58+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I have decided to take photographs before the wedding so that we can have proper lighting. The obvious problem is that we will have to see each other before the wedding -- and I really wanted to have that great moment when my groom sees me for the first time walking down the aisle. Any suggestion for how to get around this?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:35+00:00 2009-10-09T02:53:38+00:00

<p>We have a pretty tight budget, and the quotes I've been getting from limo and car service places are way out of our price range. Do we have to get a fancy car to transport the wedding party around? My sister says it's a requirement and our attendants will be offended if we don't. I really don't think it's the end of the world if we carpool, and I'd love to save the money, but I don't want them to think I'm being cheap.</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:49+00:00 2009-10-09T02:53:21+00:00

<p>My boss is getting married in a few weeks. I've been her administrative assistant for three years and while we've always had a completely professional relationship, she is very congenial. I'm not invited to the wedding, but should I get her a gift or a card? What's appropriate?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:11+00:00 2009-10-09T02:53:02+00:00

<p>My husband and I are renewing our vows after 10 years. Friends keep asking if I am going to register anywhere since I didn't have a real wedding the first time around. I hadn't really thought about it -- what is the proper etiquette?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:04+00:00 2009-10-09T02:52:18+00:00

<p>What are some original ideas for boutonnieres? I am getting married in May, and I find plain roses and greens kind of blah.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:28+00:00 2009-10-09T01:15:44+00:00

<p>What are the groom&rsquo;s parents expected to pay for? My son is getting married in August, and I&rsquo;m not sure what my husband and I should cover.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:26+00:00 2009-10-08T03:46:24+00:00

<p>I'm the maid of honour at a friend's wedding, and I'm wondering if it's customary to give a speech at the reception. Should I be prepared just in case?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:11+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I am a size 6 and large chested. I dislike full skirts. Can you recommend a wedding dress style to conceal my large chest?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:05+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My wedding is in two weeks and I just received my veil in the mail -- it was folded up in a box and is completely wrinkled. How can I safely get out the wrinkles? I really don't want to have to take it somewhere -- I have too much to do!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>What's the story with veils? Do I have to wear one, and if so, for how long?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:05+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are not crazy about wearing gloves. Is it appropriate to exclude them altogether? I heard that gloves must be removed before greeting guests at the reception, and not wearing them in the first place would make that easier!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I always thought veils were all the same -- long and white. Then I went to a bridal salon, and whoa! The styles and options were a little overwhelming. I've pretty much decided on a full-skirted, almost ball gown style dress -- does that mean I can only wear a certain kind of veil?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I think I've finally found my dream dress -- but it's green! Our wedding style will be fairly informal...so do I have to wear white?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>In order to get all the details we want on the date we want, my fianc&eacute; and I are planning a pretty long engagement -- almost two years. Unfortunately, I'm already itching to start looking at bridal dresses. Is it too soon to start my search?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I've chosen a strapless gown for my wedding, but now I need help hiding a tattoo on my right shoulder! What can I do?</p>

Hollee Actman Becker 2009-08-24T03:44:45+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I want to try some of that shimmery makeup I see in all the fashion magazines, but my mum says glossy eye shadow and foundation won't look so good in my wedding photos. Is she right, or should I go for the glow?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:26+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>Please inform us as to the matter of the wedding gift exchange between the bride and groom. Is this a time-honoured tradition?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I am getting married in Hawaii. At first I planned to have four attendants on each side. I agreed to pay the girls' airfare if they paid for the hotel, but now I'm considering costs, and I'm not sure I'll be able to. Should I just tell them we've decided to only have our maid of honour and best man, or should I ask them to pay for their trips?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>We are Jewish and it doesn't sound like there are any Rabbis on my island. What should we do?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>We really want to have a far-flung wedding, but we're not sure how to select a destination where guests will be comfortable with the price. Any suggestions?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>Do I have to have to visit my ceremony/reception site before the wedding? Should I go more than once?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I want to have a ceremony in Fiji with just our parents as guests. We would like to have a big reception for our friends and family when we return home. How can we do this without hurting feelings?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>The in-house wedding coordinator at my resort keeps recommending suppliers, but how do I know if they're really reputable?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:11+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I'd really love to do welcome bags for my guests, but what's the best way to get them to my destination in the Caribbean?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:12+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>Besides the save-the-dates, what other mailings should I consider doing, and what should these mailings include?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:12+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>If we get married on a beach in Vietnam, will my marriage be recognised in Australia?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:26+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I married in a civil ceremony due to an immigration issue and not having enough cash on hand to throw the kind of wedding we really wanted to have. It's been a couple of years now, and as I watch friends of ours get engaged and get married, I can't help but feel that we missed out. Would it be totally inappropriate to get married again just to have the total wedding experience?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:45+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I live in Cairns. We want to ask his pastor, who lives on the Gold Coast, to marry us. We just found out that he will be bringing his wife along, which we think is great. We planned on paying for his airfare; do we have to pay for hers, too?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are planning a two week trip to Hawaii for our honeymoon, and we're really concerned about what to do with our beloved dog. We've never been away from him for that much time before, and our trip's too lengthy for us to just ask a friend to dog-sit -- what should we look for to find a place where we won't be worried sick about him?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:30+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My daughter recently eloped with a delightful man. She (and we) have always wanted to have a somewhat traditional wedding. Since she is already married, we want to know if there are any guidelines for this situation. Do you have suggestions for invitation wording? Also, they did not live together before marriage, so they need many of the same household items that are given as traditional wedding gifts. How should we address questions we get regarding the giving of gifts or money?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:42+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My wedding date is about a year away. Is it too early to start planning? Also, my husband-to-be and I can't agree on a colour -- are there any general guidelines that will help us pick?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:28+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My parents are hosting my wedding at their home this summer and they are very concerned about someone getting hurt on our property. Can they cover themselves in case of an accident involving any of our guests?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>Is it mandatory to give bombonieres?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>We&rsquo;re getting married in a few months and having a large wedding. I&rsquo;m anticipating receiving a lot of gifts and I&rsquo;m worried about how safe they&rsquo;ll be once they&rsquo;re in our apartment. We live in a neighbourhood that I love, but some people consider it dodgy (our downstairs neighbours recently had their apartment broken into). Is there anything I can do to ensure the safety of my gifts?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:27+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>Are there any concerns about proper etiquette if you're holding a wedding on a Sunday? The Saturday I wanted is not available -- the Sunday of Labour Day weekend is my second option. Out of town guests would still have Monday (Labour Day) off to travel home, but would I be committing a major wedding faux pas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:39+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>What is the best way to save the top tier of our wedding cake so that it's actually edible on our one year anniversary?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>What should I expect to pay for a wedding cake to serve 300?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>How do we decide on flowers for the bridesmaids?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>We're having a Christmas wedding. Do you have any ideas on how we can make it special?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I am giving silver picture frames as favours, and I would like to include a personalised thank you card inside each to save on postage. Is this okay, or should I wait and send them after the honeymoon?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:42+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I've always dreamt of a totally white wedding. These days, though, all of my friends are using colour. I want our wedding to be mod and stylish, but I want to focus on white details. Is there a subtle way I can include <em>some</em> colour in my wedding without having it take away from the all-white theme?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>We are having our spring wedding at an out of town location. How do I forward accommodation info to my guests? Instead of sending it in the invitations, could I send a second mailing?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em>'s Irish heritage is a very big part of his and his family's lives. (His parents are first generation Australians from Ireland). We are incorporating a variety of Irish traditions into our ceremony and reception. I would also like to choose bombonieres that represent Irish tradition in some way, but I'm Italian and am having a hard time coming up with good ideas!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:47+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I live an hour and a half away from each other. He thinks our ceremony and reception should be held halfway between. My mother thinks both should happen in the bride's town even if the groom's family is paying for half. What is the tradition when the bride and groom don't live in the same area?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>Do you have to have a groom's cake <em>and</em> a bride's cake?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:42+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>We're thinking of having an intimate wedding. What are our options?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:57+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I am giving our wedding guests traditional tulle-wrapped candied almonds. We also have a lot of children attending the wedding. Should we give them these favours too?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I've chosen a gown with a simple, straight silhouette, but I love big, full flowers like peonies and anemones. Does the shape of my bouquet have to match the style of my dress?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I am so upset! My sis and I are having a double wedding and we can't see eye to eye on cake fillings. She wants carrot cake (ugh), and I want chocolate ganache (yum). Neither of us is willing to compromise on the confection. What can we do? Also, if we have two cakes, who gets to cut theirs first?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:39+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I are trying to find some ways to save for our wedding, and because neither of us are very big dessert eaters I have been trying to come up with ways we can save on a wedding cake. I was thinking of simply having sheet cakes instead of a traditional, tiered cake (which would save us a bundle). I think it's a great plan, but my fianc<em>&eacute;</em> thinks guests would find this tacky and possibly even offensive. Yikes! Who's right?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I love the cake topper we've picked out. What do I do with it after the reception?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>I recently visited my florist about the cost of my flowers, and she informed me that the bride's family pays for the bridesmaid bouquets, the groom's boutonniere, and flowers for the cake; and the groom's family pays for the bride's bouquet, corsages for the mothers and grandmothers, and the groomsmen boutonnieres. Is this true?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:59+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:16+00:00

<p>My wedding is in June in Sydney. I really want lilies of the valley for my bouquet and to decorate the church, but my florist says it'll cost more than my budget (which is somewhat conservative) because he would have to special order them from Holland. I have found a few sources that classify this flower as "all seasonal", so why is it so difficult to get them in Australia?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I'm wearing a very plain, ecru satin, V-neck gown and I'm not sure what type of necklace to wear. I can borrow a pearl choker from my mum, but I'm wondering if the necklace should fill the V-neck. Are there any rules for accessorising?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:05+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I'm not planning on wearing a veil, and I'm definitely not a tiara type of girl -- but I'd still like to accessorise my hairstyle. Are there any non-fussy headpiece options out there?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I've chosen a gorgeous, somewhat form fitting sheath for my wedding gown, and I want the smoothest possible silhouette (as in, no lumps!). What kind of pantyhose should I wear?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:07+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My future mother-in-law gave me a beautiful string of pearls to wear on my wedding day. I was wondering why pearls are so often associated with weddings; is there any history behind this?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>What should a groom wear for a 3 p.m. ceremony? We are having a cocktail hour immediately following the ceremony and then a dinner reception. It seems odd for him to wear a grey tailcoat into the evening.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:47+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I bought three books that tell me "how to be a bride," and they also cover others' roles: the bridesmaids, the mother of the bride, the groom, and more. Is it appropriate to inform these individuals what their traditional roles are so they are not confused? How can I offer this information to my wedding party without sounding ungrateful for their assistance?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:00+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>In college I was very close to my sorority sisters, and I still am. I obviously could not ask every one of them to be in the wedding, so I've come up with an alternative: They'll be honorary bridesmaids. I would like to enclose a special card in their invitations that they will present at the church. They will each be given a red rose (our sorority flower) and sit in special pews marked with blue and gold ribbons. I would also like to have the programme mention them and have a group picture taken. My best friend/MOH/wedding coordinator hates the idea (she was not in my sorority, although three of my bridesmaids were). What do you think?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:18+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My mum passed away four months ago. My father will walk me down the aisle. Even if it is hard for him without my mum, is it tacky to have my older brother represent my mum and walk with my dad and me?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:14+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>One of my good friends has asked me to do a reading at her upcoming Catholic wedding. I am honoured that she has selected me for this job, but I am absolutely terrified of speaking in public. Just the thought of standing up in front of 200 pairs of eyes makes me nervous. Should I tell her I can't do it? I really don't want to seem ungrateful or let her down.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My parents have been separated and divorced ever since I can remember. My father left my mother and did not contribute anything, either financially or emotionally, to my or my brother's life while we were growing up. Needless to say, under no circumstances do I want to give him the honour of walking me down the aisle. I've voiced this, and I'm getting nothing but grief from people. It's making me dread the day. What's the proper thing to do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>What's the etiquette? Are we obligated to pay for our guests or subsidise any portion of their trip?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:14+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We're trying to work out our budget. How many events do we foot the bill for, and what do our guests pay for themselves?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>If I go down for a prewedding site inspection, will my room be comped by the resort?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My boyfriend and I are planning to get engaged soon, and were about to begin ring shopping, when his mother graciously offered her diamond ring to us. I absolutely adore his mother, but I had my heart set on something a bit different. Is there any way I can turn down her offer without ruining our relationship or worse, offending my soon-to-be fianc&eacute;?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I met my future husband online, and we come from different parts of the country. My family and friends can't come to a wedding in his area and his can't come to one in mine. Would it be appropriate to have two weddings, one in each hometown?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:37+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I am planning to marry next year. My father passed away recently. I want to acknowledge and thank him, not necessarily as part of the ceremony but perhaps at the reception. Is there a classy way to do this that will not put the reception on a low key or depress guests? Also, I have asked my uncle, the only surviving member of my father's family, to give me away. Is this all right, or should I have asked my mother or no one at all?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:35+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>To be blunt, my formerly loving family hates my fianc&eacute;. We are getting married next year, and have not asked for a drop of money from them. All I really want is some emotional support, but every time we get together it's a battle and I end up crying. I cannot have a bridal shower or any other celebration, because my mother or my sister would make it miserable. My fianc&eacute; is a kind, wonderful person, and extremely thoughtful. According to my parents, the biggest strikes against him are that we are living together before marriage, he is two years younger than I, and is physically handicapped. I have tried many times to tell them how much he means to me, but to no avail. I've dreamt of this since I was a girl, and now the happiest event in my life is the most stressful. Is this normal for a family to be so hostile? What are some peacekeeping tactics?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My mum has made wedding planning horrible for me by telling me that what I want is stupid or ugly, borrowing money from my fianc&eacute; and me that we've saved to pay for the wedding, even making my bridesmaids cry over the shower. She keeps insisting that she be the one to walk me down the aisle, though my father is a big part of my life. Every time I try to stand up for what I want, she tells me how sick she is (there is no proof of any serious medical problem) and makes me feel guilty. How should I handle her?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:34+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My daughter has moved to a different city and will be married there. Since her bridesmaids (including her two sisters), matron of honour, and I are all coming in from out of town, a special lunch will be served while we are getting ready for the wedding. We are also having a makeup artist and a hair stylist come in. My daughter's future mother-in-law asked if she and her mother could use the makeup woman as well. My daughter tried diplomatically to tell her it was probably too many people for one woman to make up, and that she would like to spend this time alone with her mum, her sisters, and her best friends before the wedding. Now, her mother-in-law has threatened to cancel the rehearsal dinner. She had a good relationship with her mother-in-law until this happened. Her fianc&eacute; is standing by her, but it is hard on him. What else can she do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:34+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute;'s family is very close-knit, and even though all the children are now adults, they still call their parents by their childhood pet names (Pop-pop and Mumsy!). I've always kind of avoided calling them anything, but now that we're getting married I know this is my last chance for it to be better late than never. How should I handle it?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My friend will be marrying for the second time and it will be a very small, late morning, informal garden wedding. She does not want gifts. If, however, guests feel so inclined, she would most like a donation to a charity in her mother's memory. Everyone invited knows of her mother's recent death, but is there a way to indicate, other than word of mouth, that if guests do wish to give gifts, a donation to the charity would be most appreciated?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I always thought that if you were invited to the bridal shower and brought a gift that you were then not expected to buy a wedding gift, but a friend recently told me she thinks this isn't the case. Who's right?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:47+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We live in Adelaide, where my fianc<em>&eacute;</em> is currently stationed, but we're planning a wedding back in our hometown in Alice Springs. We can't afford to ship all of the gifts to Adelaide after the wedding, so I'm hoping we can ask guests to ship the gifts straight there when they buy off the registry and to spread that info by word of mouth. He wants to include a line in our invites asking guests to mail the gifts, which I think is rude. What should we do?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We're having a family-only wedding and reception. My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> wants to have a party/shower just for his friends so they don't feel left out (they're all a little upset about the family-only wedding). Would it be proper to let them know where we are registered in case they want to buy a gift? Should we let them know we don't expect gifts? Or should we just say nothing and let them decide whether to give one?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:47+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Our wedding took place six months ago, and we haven't received gifts from a small number of our guests. I would assume that they just aren't getting us anything, but I recently found out that an order placed by one of my friends had been cancelled by the store and they hadn't been notified. I'm worried this could have happened with others, and that they're thinking I'm rude for not sending a thank you. Is there a way to find out what's going on with these guests without sounding like I'm fishing for gifts?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>One of my fianc&eacute;'s closest friends has two girlfriends. The real one lives across the country, while the other girl lives nearby. My fianc&eacute; definitely wants him at our wedding, but I'm worried he's going to bring his other girl. I don't want to get involved with his love life, but I don't want to be disloyal to his real girlfriend. Can we specify who he brings with him?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We're planning an evening ceremony and reception, but we don't want the wedding to be formal. How can we let guests know that it will be a casual wedding?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I need suggestions for making my wedding comfortable and special for out-of-town guests.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I'm concerned about socialising with guests at the reception. My fianc&eacute; and I want to enjoy ourselves (meaning dance and have fun). We know that we need to mingle with our guests, but we don't want to be tied up all night -- it's our party too. How long do we need to spend with each guest? Any suggestions?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My family is footing almost the entire bill for our wedding, but my fianc&eacute;'s family is humongous. I know that the traditional rules aren't going to work perfectly, and I definitely want to try to deal with any strife way before it comes to a head. Do you have any suggestions as to how we should handle the guest list?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are having a small, intimate wedding, and I'm afraid some friends will be offended that they're not invited. What should we do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I have a budget that allows for about 150 guests at my wedding, but my fianc&eacute; and I have so many friends that our current list already exceeds 250! I keep looking at it and just can't cut any names without feeling terrible. How can we whittle down our list without the guilt?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:48+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I have several friends who have significant others, and, of course, I will include them by name on the invitations. That's why I was dismayed and even offended when I recently received an invitation to a friend's wedding that did not include my fianc&eacute;. Granted, my friends who are getting married don't know my fianc&eacute; well, but they certainly do know of his existence. I feel funny about responding for two when only one was invited, but I also feel funny attending by myself. I know my fianc&eacute; would be hurt if I went without him. How do I handle this? If nothing else, it's a good lesson for me when I start sending out my invitations!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:00+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I used to work together. I have since left the company, where I was treated badly and my fianc&eacute; is the golden boy. The thought of his boss (who is also my ex-boss) at our wedding makes me sick. Do I have to invite him?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Half our guests are from out of town (way out -- 3,000 kilometres), and we are wondering if we are expected to pay for any of their travel or accommodation expenses? I think we'll be expected to pay for the rooms, but my fianc&eacute; says we only need to make the reservations. Help! Who's correct?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:57+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I have a single friend who's been freaking out about my wedding. A lot of our friends have gotten hitched recently, she's not even dating anyone, and somehow, my engagement has been the last straw. I really care about her and I want to help her cope, but I'm not sure how to deal -- even on the little things. Should I invite her to my wedding with a guest, just to avoid having her feel weird about not having a dance partner? Or will it be more awkward for her to bring a random date when everyone else is bringing their spouses?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My mother is very much against response cards. Since she is paying for the invitations, she didn't order response cards -- she thinks they are tacky. What should I do if people don't reply? Should I call them?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are getting married in Maui and know that not all the 200 guests we would like to invite will make it. When we come back home, we are going to have a reception for everyone not able to make the trip. I've read that when getting married away and returning home to a reception, you should only send out wedding invitations to those you know can and will attend the wedding, then send out separate invitations for the reception. We both feel very strongly about sending invitations to everyone and then including (at the bottom) that a reception will be held in our honour when we return. We are afraid that if we follow etiquette, we will hurt people's feelings. Do we follow the rules or do what we feel is right?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:11+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are Asian-Australian. After our 11 a.m. ceremony, we are having a Western-style reception followed by a traditional Chinese banquet later that evening. My question is: How can I fit three different events and locations on my invitations? I have read that putting the reception on the invitation is only appropriate when it is at the same location as the ceremony.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Soon after announcing our engagement, we began receiving our first gifts. I know that we will order thank you notes along with our invitations, so they'll be coordinated, but what type of notecard is most appropriate to use before the wedding? I had little cards with just our first names printed on them, but I just read that it is not appropriate for our names to be engraved together until after we are wed. Should thank you notes to my friends and family go on my own stationery, while those to his side on his stationery?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:07+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute;'s dad and my dad are both paying for our wedding, and we don't know how to do our invitations. His parents are both remarried, while neither of mine are. I think that even though our mothers aren't contributing financially, their names should appear on our invites (although I'm not sure if both fathers will be as generous -- but we'll deal with that next time).</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:07+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>The groom's parents are contributing a considerable amount of money toward our wedding (though nowhere near half). Is it proper to include his parents on the wedding invitations, i.e., "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and Mr. and Mrs. Tom Smith would like you to share in the marriage of their children..."?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Our reception hall says that the menu choice (chicken, fish, or meat) should be given on the response card so that the count of how many of which meal can be given to them, not just the total head count. Is there an attractive way to do this? None of the response cards I have seen have listed any menu choices.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We're having a small wedding. Do we have to invite Mr. Smith "and Guest"? One friend told me that if he's not seriously dating someone, I can just address the invite to Mr. Smith, and he'll know he's not supposed to invite someone. Is that true? What do I do if guests reply for two anyway?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I have a very large family, but my fianc&eacute; and I have decided to have a very small getaway wedding. We have selected the people we want to invite, but we need to know if they will be able to attend so we can fill all the rooms. I wanted to send out save-the-date notes, but we don't want anyone to blab to the rest of the family. We want to keep it secret. Help!!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I'm getting married next spring. It will be a large wedding, and we are inviting many out-of-town guests. To allow them to make travel plans early, we would like to send out save-the-dates a few months prior to the formal invitations. Because we are inviting so many guests, the wording will be preprinted on the cards. Can you give me some appropriate wording ideas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>A while ago I went to a bridal shower where every guest was handed an envelope to address to themselves. Later the envelopes were drawn from a bag and prizes given out -- but the hosts held on to the envelopes, which were later used for the thank you notes. I thought this seemed pretty tacky at first, but now that I'm faced with the task of writing my own, it seems pretty sharp! What do you think?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:11+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I know that you normally send out invitations four to six weeks before the wedding, but we are getting married in Byron Bay in &ldquo;peak season&rdquo; and 80 percent of our guests will be coming in from out of town. How early should I send invites to give them time to get the lowest airfares? Also, how should I handle reserving hotel rooms for these guests?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:12+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Do we have to have a separate reception card with our invitations, or can we just include that info in our invitations? The whole separate card thing seems too formal for our wedding.</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:17+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are both changing our names when we get married. It has been suggested to me that we send out "at-home" cards. What are these, where do I get them, and should I send them out before or after the ceremony?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I haven't lived at my parent's house in years (my fianc&eacute; and I have actually been living together for several). Does this make any difference as to where the RSVPs should be sent? I thought they traditionally went to the bride's parent's house.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:10+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I was flicking through invitation books with my mum and pointed out several lovely styles. She said to use white or ivory with black printing. I told her that nowadays many styles are acceptable. I am not choosing any "cutesy" ones, but mostly have selected classic ones, though they may have coloured edging or pearlised patterns. Who's right?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:14+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Help! I need the etiquette approved language for a formal response to a wedding invitation. Please give stationery and wording details.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I were planning on having a wedding party that's family-only (my sisters would be my bridesmaids, his brother and a cousin would be his groomsmen). I was worried, however, that my best friend would be upset at not being a bridesmaid. It turned out that she wasn't unhappy at all -- she said she'd rather be a flower girl. Can I have a flower girl who's my own age?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:45+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are getting married next year, and I want my two little cousins to be ring bearers and one of his nieces to be a flower girl. However, I want to have an adults-only reception. Can the children in my wedding party be there without the rest of the guests being upset about it?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:45+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I have two flower girls, both age four. One of their fathers (my uncle) is also our celebrant. My fianc&eacute;'s mother does not want to invite them to the rehearsal dinner because they are so young and alcohol will be served. My parents think they should be invited because they are part of the wedding party. I can understand both points of view, but they are my cousins, and I don't know what we would do with them after the rehearsal, especially if their parents wanted to stay for the dinner. Does my fianc&eacute;'s mother get to decide because she's paying for the dinner, or is it proper to invite the little girls because they are part of the wedding party?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I'd like to have my sister as my MOH and my daughter as my flower girl. My fianc&eacute;, however, doesn't want a ring bearer. Would it be all right to have a flower girl without a ring bearer, or does she have to have a partner?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:45+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Is a 2-1/2-year-old too young to be a flower girl? Both her parents are in the wedding party, which I believe would make it easier on her.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We're planning to give out tulle-wrapped Jordan almonds as wedding favours, but we are also going to be having a fair number of kids at our wedding. Should they receive separate favours?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Is the bride expected to pay for the flower girl and ring bearer's attire?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I am 29 and my fianc&eacute; is 42. I have a fairly steady job and my fianc&eacute; is doing extremely well. Several years ago, my dad said that someday he would pay for my wedding. Well, I recently asked if he would like to contribute, and he said he would need to talk it over with my stepmum. It was a hard question to ask, because he hasn't paid for anything for me since I moved out almost 10 years ago. It was very uncomfortable for both of us. Two weeks later he offered me $10,000. My aunt has since expressed surprise that I asked -- she felt that since I am almost 30 and have been working for so many years, it wasn't the right thing to do. But my fianc&eacute; really encouraged me to ask, as I am my father's only daughter. Now I feel guilty about the whole thing. Should I just let it go, accept that he has offered to pay, and try to find the best possible deal to keep costs at a minimum? Should I maybe try to pay for some of it myself?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

My fiance is no help at all when it comes to planning our wedding. When do I need to include him and when should I draw the line? I don't want to burn him out on everything before our big day, but no one else will lend a hand.

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We had been counting on using our church's organist for our ceremony music, but not we've changed our plans and are having an outdoor wedding in a gazebo. We can't afford live musicians, so what are our options for ceremony music?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:22+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I have decided to have a morning wedding ceremony immediately followed by a brunch buffet. We've booked a string quartet to play for the ceremony. Should we invite the quartet to the reception?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My father passed away a few years ago and I don't have any brothers. I'm concerned about the father-daughter dance at my wedding. Should I ask my fianc&eacute;'s dad to dance with me? It just doesn't feel right.</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Our budget doesn't really allow for hiring additional entertainment other than our DJ. But is there a way we can incorporate unique music touches into the reception plans?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Our reception is going to be in a lovely public garden, where amplified music of any kind is not allowed. We plan on hiring a string quartet for the ceremony. Neither of us is very into dancing, so we don't plan to have a dance floor at the reception. We do, however, want background music. The problem is that our reception will begin at about 7 p.m. Do you think our guests will be bored out of their minds at an evening wedding with no dancing?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I've seen people add fresh greenery and flowers to their cakes, but I'm worried that doing so is not sanitary because of possible pesticides or dirt. How do I make sure the flowers are safe for our cake?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:42+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We just got engaged, and we're planning an autumn wedding for next year. Do you have any site ideas to inspire us?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I am having a Victorian style wedding. Do you have any ideas on wedding favours?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I'm looking for unique ideas for small guest giveaways -- something different from the usual candies and bubbles. Do you have any great ideas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I are getting married in Las Vegas at a beautiful hotel and casino. The wedding will be semi formal; we want it to be fun, not tacky, but we can't come up with a good favour idea that doesn't scream tackiness. Any ideas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:47+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>What should I eat on my wedding morning to give me enough strength to get through the day?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:39+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I are having a groom's cake. We love the idea of serving two cakes, especially because I am a vanilla nut and he craves chocolate. Who gets to come up with the design -- him or me?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>At a friend's recent wedding, one of our mutual friends got a hold of the mike and delivered a drunken, somewhat inappropriate, and definitely unexpected toast. How can I stop this from happening at my wedding?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I'm not really interested in doing a bouquet toss at our reception. Is there anything else we can do instead?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:49+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We want to put "please no gifts" on our invitation because we feel that the obligatory gift tradition is just not right, but everyone we tell scoffs at us! Are we tacky or rude for doing this? Are we the only ones who don't expect gifts and just want our guests to spend our special day with us?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My son is getting married in his bride's hometown in Hobart next October. Since we live in the Hunter Valley and most of our family is from Sydney, many of us will be unable to attend the wedding. We would like to have a reception for the newlyweds here. What is the protocol for inviting guests to either or both receptions? I do not want to include only those who did not attend the wedding, but I also don't want guests to feel they have to give two gifts if they are invited to both.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:07+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My future mother-in-law is pushing for us to register at a high-end department store where my family (and most of our friends) can barely afford to purchase a butter knife. Is it okay to register at more than one place, or is there something else I can do to make gift giving easier on our more budget conscious guests?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>If I am someone's date at a wedding, am I expected to contribute to the wedding gift if I don't actually know the couple at all? Who is the gift technically from?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I would like to have an evening wedding and then a really chic reception at an art museum. Can I have a cocktail party (raw bar/hot and cold hors d'oeuvres, stationed and butlered/champagne station/open bar with beer and wine) with a band, or do I have to serve a full dinner?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>For our semi formal backyard reception, we must rent port-a-loo's. How can we dress up an ugly, outdoor toilet stall?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We really love our reception site except for one thing -- if our guests linger even a minute too long, we're going to be slapped with some serious overage fees. Can you recommend some good ways to put the brakes on the partying and get people to go without killing the vibe completely?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We will have two reception dinner choices, plus a children's meal. How do we let our guests know the options, and how do they let us know what they would like (and how many of each)?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Is it improper to have a cash bar, even if we will have around 400 people and don't have the money to provide for everyone?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I are strict vegetarians (vegan) and we don't drink. I spoke to my mum about having a non-alcoholic vegetarian wedding and she couldn't believe I would even consider such a thing. I don't know why she was so surprised -- I've been a vegetarian and an animal rights activist for 10 years! What is your opinion? Is it feasible?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:38+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I know that guests value and remember the food above many other aspects of the wedding. How can I make my menu memorable?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:35+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Is it necessary to take all 200 guests' individual diets into consideration when planning the menu? It is totally overwhelming to think about serving a meal that meets the needs of those who are vegetarians, diabetics, have food allergies, keep Kosher, are on Atkins, and the just-don't-like-exotic-food types. It is so much simpler (not to mention cheaper) to have one menu, but I don't want anyone to starve because they can't eat pork, for example.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:39+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My mum and I are in a huge disagreement over the issue of reception seating. I want to have my family and friends sitting at the same tables, and my fianc<em>&eacute;</em>'s friends and family sitting at the same tables, but I want to intermingle the tables throughout the room. In other words, I don't want to have a "bride's side" and "groom's side" at the reception. What do you think?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:42+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I've heard that a buffet is the way to go for the reception. What are the pros and cons?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:35+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>How are we supposed to seat our guests at the various tables? Should they be all from one side or the other, or should we mix them?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:29+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I know most people aren't Ansel Adams when it comes to photography, but I assume they have the basic knowledge of point and shoot. Just in case, how can I clue in my guests as to how the table cameras work? How do I let them know what (and what not) to photograph?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:37+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>We've been to a lot of weddings this year with the same old dinner choices: chicken or beef, and beef or chicken. Are there any entr<em>&eacute;</em>e choices out there that are a little more unconventional (but not so exotic that our less adventurous guests will go hungry)?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I am a single mum who is totally taking care of the rehearsal dinner. The groom's dad will only be there as an invited guest. Can I make the initial toast and act as hostess? I have two brothers-in-law who could help, although choosing one over the other would create another problem. Will today's etiquette permit me to be in charge?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I have a very close family -- in fact, five of my cousins are in my wedding. Because we are so close, I fear that not only will my cousins and their dates attend the rehearsal dinner, but also so will their parents (my aunts and uncles) and siblings. I don't have the heart to forbid them from attending, but I will have more than 45 people at the dinner. Would it be all right to have the dinner at a casual Italian restaurant? My wedding is very formal and I'm worried this might seem tacky. My in-laws are concerned that they will look cheap, but I think it would be fun for everyone to get to know each other. What do you think?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:57+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Our son is a lieutenant colonel in the Air Force and is marrying a girl who's a lieutenant in the Navy. Do we use their military rank when wording the rehearsal dinner invitation, or do we just say "David and Tara"?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:00+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I just found out that my three half-sisters are travelling quite a distance to come to my wedding. They are not part of the wedding party -- I've only seen each of them five times in 25 years and they are not my favourite people! They'll be in town in time for the rehearsal dinner, and I'm wondering if it would be awful if they weren't invited to the dinner. Help!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:59+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute;'s family either has no idea they are supposed to host a rehearsal dinner or they just don't care! My parents can't afford to host (they are already shelling out big bucks for me, so I won't ask for more), but they suggested I have everyone come to my house and have it catered (my fianc&eacute; and I will pay for it). Aside from their ignorance of wedding customs, my fianc&eacute;'s divorced parents hate each other. Would it be really awful if I did not invite them to the rehearsal dinner?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:00+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Must videographers be included in the rehearsal dinner? The videographer wants to come to the rehearsal "because it is a new church for him and he wants to familiarise himself with it." He even told me he intends to bring his wife! We kind of think it's a blatant ploy for a free meal. What do you think?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:59+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I am curious about toasting etiquette at the rehearsal dinner. I am the groom and would prefer not to have to say anything to the group en masse if I am not obliged (I have enough to worry about already!). Does the bride generally make a toast nowadays? Also, even if the bride and groom are not obliged to speak, does the obligation arise once others start making toasts at either event?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:59+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Who is invited to the rehearsal dinner? My fianc&eacute; says family, everyone in the wedding, and all the out of town guests. I personally don&rsquo;t want to include all the out-of-towners.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I have very different decorating styles. His apartment is totally sleek and modern, while my place screams over-the-top vintage. We plan to buy a house together once we&rsquo;re married, and I'm worried that things are going to get ugly (and I don't just mean clashing styles!) when we try to decide what comes with us. Do you have any suggestions for smoothing the transition into our new home?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Now that we're living together, I realise just how much time my new husband spent with his buddies before we were married. They've now become semi-permanent house guests -- the other day, I came home and two of them were already parked on our couch (and he wasn't even home yet!). I don't want him to lose his friends, but they're driving me crazy. How can we handle this?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I've met the man of my dreams, but we've only been dating for a month and a half. We'd like to marry in the near future but agree that we're not ready yet. What discussion topics should be brought up so we can be sure we're right for each other?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>The other day, my fianc&eacute;e casually mentioned spending Christmas at her folks'. There's just one catch -- I already told my mother she could definitely count on us at her big holiday dinner. There's no way we can see them both in one day, so is there any way to stop this from turning into World War III, or is it already too late?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I have very calmly agreed to invite my fianc&eacute;'s ex to our wedding. When she received the bridal shower invitation, her response was somewhat insane -- she called my husband-to-be and asked him if I was "mocking her." Then she did not respond with "regrets only," and my bridal party paid for a dinner for her when we knew full well she wouldn't show up. The question is: Must the wedding invitation be sent? I want to take her name off the list altogether.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:38+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; was previously married in a non-Catholic religious ceremony. He divorced. We are planning on being married in a Catholic church. I have never been married. Will he need an annulment from his previous marriage?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; is separated and has been for four years. Because of lawyer switches and financial setbacks, the divorce process is still going on. Two years ago he moved across the country to be with me. I know that he is committed to me, but well-meaning friends and family often hint that he may not be ready to part from his wife. While I know they have my best interests at heart, it really hurts me, and I always come off sounding defensive when I try to explain things to them. I am up-to-date on the divorce proceedings, but must I explain every little detail to everyone in order to quell their concerns?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I'm divorced with three children, girls ages 16 and 14 and a boy, 10. I'm engaged to a wonderful, supportive man who truly loves me and my kids. I feel it's important to involve the kids in the wedding. My fianc&eacute; has never been married, and wants a very traditional wedding. (I think I'd much rather elope!) How can we involve the kids directly, without being tacky?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I am widowed and would like to know how I should notify my deceased spouse's parents of my upcoming wedding. Is it necessary?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:50:38+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>I've found a florist whose work I absolutely love and I definitely want to book her for my wedding. However, I'm worried she won't be able to make it to the church on time for my noon ceremony -- she's in the city, and my wedding is going to be at the beach right in the thick of tourist season. Is it okay if I hire her only for my reception decor and find a local florist to do the bouquets?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:25+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>What are the basics I should know to start a career as a wedding coordinator?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:27+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Colour or black and white film -- which is considered best these days?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:26+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>My photographer says I can buy the negatives of my wedding pictures for an additional, very expensive, fee. Is it worth it?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:50:39+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>What if the wrong flowers or cake arrive on the wedding day or, worse yet, someone or something doesn't show up at all?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:21+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>On our wedding night, my fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I plan to stay in the same hotel where our reception is taking place. The problem is, several of our out of town guests will be staying there as well. How do we maintain our privacy without hurting anyone's feelings?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:22+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:15+00:00

<p>Everyone talks about stellar wedding night sex. However, my fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I are worried that we'll be too tired, between entertaining out of town guests all weekend and sticking around until the last dance, for post-matrimonial acrobatics. Are we putting too much pressure on ourselves?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I have orthopedic problems, so it's difficult for me to find pretty shoes that are also comfortable. I just found a perfect pair of white leather pumps and was very excited until a friend told me that I'm supposed to wear cloth shoes for the wedding. I never gave it a thought before now, but I'm thinking people probably won't notice. Is it okay to wear leather shoes?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:11+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>We're having a morning, outdoor January wedding at a somewhat rustic location. Would a satin strapless dress be appropriate? I know the dress can be whatever I want, but I'd love your opinion. Also, should I factor into my decision whether I'll ever be able to wear the dress again?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; gave me his grandmother's ring when we got engaged. It's a beautiful heirloom piece and very special to me, but it doesn't really work with the wedding bands we chose. Is it okay to wear my engagement ring and wedding band on different fingers?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm a size 20. Will I ever be able to find a beautiful wedding dress that flatters my body? I only have six months until my wedding and doubt that I'll be able to lose much weight before then. What should I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:10+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm petite -- 5'1". What style wedding dress will be most flattering?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm short -- 5'2" -- and have practically no waistline. What can I wear that will create the illusion of curves?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:07+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm getting married this summer and plan to wear strappy sandals with my dress. Should I wear pantyhose with my shoes?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:05+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm an African-American bride and I'll be wearing an ivory coloured gown on my big day. I'm trying to pick out the perfect pair of pantyhose. What shades will best complement my skin tone and dress colour?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Is it okay for the groom to wear tails if the wedding is not in the evening?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Who is responsible for the purchase of the groom's wedding ring -- the bride or groom?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:47+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm trying desperately to shed some kilos before my wedding, but I'm having trouble dieting on the right foods -- I'm never full after I eat. Do you have any suggestions?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>How do I discuss my bridesmaid choices with a good friend of mine who&rsquo;s not going to be in my wedding? We just aren't as close as we once were, but I feel guilty for not including her, especially since I was her maid of honour!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>What are the day-of responsibilities of the wedding party? Can I give them a list of to-dos?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:25+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>What exactly are the responsibilities of the maid of honour?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I keep reading about brides whose relatives throw a bridal shower for them. I thought this was considered inappropriate because it seemed like the relatives were soliciting gifts. Is this still the case?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I feel many weddings focus too much on the bride. We are trying to make ours about us as a couple, and we would like to have a couple shower. Our families love the idea but don't have a clue about how to plan this kind of party. How do couple showers work?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I recently learned that I was not invited to a bridal shower because the bride said she would feel "too uncomfortable" around me (she's a former flame of my fianc&eacute;'s and part of his close circle of friends). She and her fianc&eacute; are coming to our wedding, and we're going to theirs. I don't have any problems with her, and in fact had planned on asking my MOH to invite her to my shower since other friends of hers will be there. Should I invite her as planned or follow her lead and leave her out?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My friends are planning a bridal shower for me and have asked my mother and future mother-in-law for names of people they would like to have at the shower. The problem is that we are having a small wedding, and my mum says that if you invite someone to the shower you must also invite them to the wedding. Is that true?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I decided to have a very intimate wedding. We are inviting only 20 guests to the ceremony and to a family meal at my parent's home afterward. Am I still entitled to a shower?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm hosting a bridal shower for both bride and groom. Any suggestions on wording invitations and on the shower itself? Should the groom also register for gifts he would like?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>If only the bride-to-be is present at the shower, who should sign the thank you notes for the gifts -- only the bride, or both of the to-be-weds?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm getting married in August, and I'm unsure about which colour the bridesmaids should wear. I first wanted baby yellow, but I wonder whether I should choose a winter colour.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>When selecting bridesmaids' attire, what is the proper etiquette? Should I get all the maids together and see how they feel, then let them find dresses that suit everyone in cost and style?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I plan to have two good friends be my maids of honour at my wedding. Can you give me some ideas on how to split the honour attendant's duties between them?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are planning on writing our wedding ceremony ourselves. Figuring out the vows was actually the easy part for us -- it's the readings that keep tripping us up. Neither of us is very religious. Do you have any suggestions for where we could find readings that would work?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I was hoping to have a candlelight ceremony, but I am unclear about how it actually works. I bought a ton of white Christmas lights, which I am hanging from the floor-to-ceiling windows in the ceremony/reception ballroom, but I don't think this will give off enough light so that guests will be able to see. Can you give me a few more suggestions?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:21+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I am the director of the nonprofit organisation that my fianc&eacute; volunteers for. Most of the people I work with do not know that we are a couple. My fianc&eacute; wants us to get married after an annual luncheon event so we can invite people we both work with that we otherwise would not ask to the wedding. The facility would not charge us an additional fee, and the wedding would take place on a Thursday at 4 p.m. in a garden. So that no one attending the luncheon will feel left out, we thought of handing out an informal invitation when they leave the lunch, letting them know they may join us for the exchange of vows. I think it would be a beautiful setting, but I'm a little uncomfortable doing this at a work event. This is a remarriage for both of us. We want something simple but nice. What do you think?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:19+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm worried about guests walking in late to our wedding and distracting attention from our ceremony. What can I do to prevent this?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I am planning to have two flower girls and two ring bearers in my wedding. What is the proper etiquette for child attendants -- should they stand with the rest of the bridal party throughout the ceremony or should they sit down after they walk to the front? I am worried about how they will behave if they have to stand at the altar.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:17+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My mum has completely taken over the guest list. She has decided to invite her friends we haven't seen in years and their families. She is making our wedding a huge social occasion, but we only have so much space in the chapel (it holds 250 comfortably). I'm afraid the people that mean the most to us will be stuck standing in the back. My mum is paying for the wedding, but how do we tell her not to go overboard?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:22+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are having an outdoor wedding at sunset. We had planned on a 5:30 p.m. start time, since the sun will go down at 5:43. But several of the wedding professionals we've spoken to have told us that the ceremony most likely won't actually start until 6:00, since many guests are likely to be late. Should we put an earlier start time on the invitations or just begin at the time we specified, whether or not everyone has arrived? We don't want to say our vows in the dark.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I have a three-year-old son who is not the child of my fianc&eacute;. We want to honour him as a part of our new family by also giving him a ring during our ceremony. Is that appropriate? My fianc&eacute; really loves him and wants to adopt him, and we thought this would be a nice way of showing that.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Should I take my engagement ring off for the ceremony or does my fianc&eacute; put the band on top of my ring?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm an African-American bride-to-be who would like to include something from my culture in my wedding -- not so subtle that only I notice, but not blaring, either. I like the traditional with a hint of self-expression. Any suggestions?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Many members of my fianc&eacute;'s family will be making the trip from Mexico for our wedding. I'm incredibly excited for our families to meet, but I'm concerned about the language barrier (many of them speak Spanish only). Is there any way we'll be able to bridge the gap?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>What are some ways I can incorporate my Polish heritage into my wedding day?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>A friend told me about a supposed tradition of women proposing to men on a leap year. Any idea what the origin of this is, or if it is even true?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Why do people wear wedding rings on their fourth finger, next to the pinky? Is there any historical significance behind this?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:14+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>What if I have children in the wedding -- do I need to do anything specific as far as the resort is concerned?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:11+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>How do I estimate my guest list? What percentage of my initial list will actually attend?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:14+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>What hidden charges should I be aware of at the resorts?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>We definitely want to have our ceremony, if not our whole reception, outside. How do I find out the rainy season for the locations that I am considering?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:12+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>How do I find a wedding planner who specialises in destination weddings? How does the planner charge for his/her services? Do I have to pay for her travel expenses?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Is it a good idea to put group blocks in place at the hotel? With the airline? What are the advantages?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Who handles the necessary paperwork for a marriage licence?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My location has a high and low season, and we'd really like to take advantage of the great deals during the low season. But are the savings worth the possibility of bad weather?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>If guests are staying off-site, am I responsible for their transportation to the wedding?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:14+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>If a resort offers a wedding package, how do I determine if the suppliers are reliable or reputable?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:14+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>We're getting married in Aruba. What suppliers should we bring?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>We're having a destination wedding in Las Vegas. All of our friends and family members are paying their own way to get there, but I was wondering whether we had to pay for their transportation around town (from the hotel to the chapel, and then from the chapel to the reception site). We've booked limos for the wedding party and our immediate families, but I don't think we can afford them for everyone else &mdash; what should we do?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My husband and I are paying $20K for his 27-year-old daughter's wedding. Her mother, with whom she lives, is helping her plan and organise, but she's not contributing financially. Yesterday the bride-to-be showed up with her invitations, which she hadn't consulted us on, and they read "Mr. T. VanHill and Ms. E. VanHill request the pleasure...." I was quite upset when I saw them; they did not include me at all, but more importantly they list my husband and his ex on the same line (she uses his last name). Am I overreacting? What would have been the right way to handle it? Please help -- I feel so embarrassed and insulted.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:28+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My son is getting married soon. His dad and I are divorced. I've remarried. His dad has not. Where should my husband and I sit in the church? My ex-husband does not want us in front of him. He says that makes my present husband more important to our son than he is, which of course is not true. What to do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My husband is 6'4" and has huge hands; I'm 5'2" and have tiny hands. How can we choose matching wedding bands that will look equally good on both of us?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:27+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>We are being pressured by the groom's mother to have an engagement party for our newly engaged daughter and their son. The wedding is a ways away, after university graduation and jobs are secured. I say throwing a party now is precipitous, and I would like to wait. Also, which side of the family is responsible for such a party, or can either side initiate it?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Is the guy supposed to include the girl when selecting an engagement ring, or is she supposed to be surprised?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Our wedding is one month away, but we've decided to postpone. How do we let guests know?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm clueless when it comes to engagement ring and wedding ring etiquette. Do I have to have a wedding ring, or could I just continue to wear my engagement ring after I'm married?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:34+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My oldest son is getting married next fall. I love his fianc&eacute; and I'm thrilled with their decision. The only problem is that my son, who we adopted at birth, wants to invite his birth mother (whom we recently found) to the wedding. I have always been grateful to her for giving life to my son and for her decision to give him up for adoption, but I do not want to share this day with her. When my son realised I was a little less than thrilled with the idea he immediately dropped it, but now I feel guilty! Should I? What is proper in this case?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute;'s family is driving me crazy. Ever since we announced our engagement, they've been bombarding me on all sides with demands -- from inviting third cousins to including their kids in the ceremony! They're creating so much craziness that I'm ready to give up on the whole wedding and elope. Is there any way to deal with this?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I have a difficult question. My sister-in-law is getting married and has asked me to be in her wedding party. The problem is that three years ago I asked her to be my maid of honour; she said yes but didn't show up to the wedding because she had a difference of opinion with me. Now she wants me to be in her wedding, and to make matters worse (for me) she wants my two-year-old daughter to be the flower girl. Should I do it, knowing she ruined my wedding, or politely say no thank you, and suffer her wrath?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My best friend is getting married. Her mother and I are not on the best of terms -- actually, we don't like each other at all. And the wedding reception is at her house. What can I do to make everything go as smoothly as possible for my friend on her big day?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:30+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are having some real problems with his mother. I was recently accepted to a PhD programme, and because of this and some other important reasons, we moved the wedding from September to May. The only date available was a Friday evening. My soon-to-be MIL has decided that this was an intentionally cruel move to ensure that her family will not be able to attend. We both realise it is an inconvenience for out-of-towners, but because of other holidays and occasions, it was the only reasonable date available to us. My fianc&eacute; assures me this will not be a real problem for his family, but his mother will not let up. Is it totally horrible to change your wedding date if you give guests six months' notice? Do you think I should leave the bickering to my fianc&eacute;? Do I ignore all the problems or put in my two cents? I don't want to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, but she doesn't have any problem doing so.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:29+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Against my wishes, my mother bought a white dress to wear to my summer wedding. She is doing a lot to help with planning and I don't want to appear ungrateful, but I wish she wouldn't wear it. Isn't that sort of tacky -- wearing white to a wedding? I don't know what to say to her, and she's quite good at shooting me down. I do understand that this is a big day for her, too.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>If you've been invited to attend a wedding and you can't go, should you compensate by buying a more expensive wedding gift -- or can you get away with spending less?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:45+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I have a son. We are buying a house shortly after the wedding. Is it okay to register for items for our son's room as well?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:48+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I've heard that it's acceptable to send a wedding present up to 6 months after the wedding. Is this true?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>A friend did not give me a gift for my wedding, and it's been well over a year. Her wedding is coming up, so should I refrain from giving her a gift? It sounds spiteful but what's the best way to handle this?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My friends and I are all recent uni graduates, and now one of us is getting married. A lot of people are worried about how they're going to afford to get her a wedding gift, and I'm afraid a few are already battling it out to get to the lowest cost registry items first. I think they're being tacky, but at the same time I understand their cash concerns. How can we handle this?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm a little bit of a product junkie, and I know I'm not going to be able to handle heading out on our honeymoon without every last bit of makeup I could possibly want. My fianc&eacute; is already joking about my "second suitcase," but I'm kind of cringing at carrying quite so much. Is there any easy way to stash my stuff without weighing down the plane?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:42+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I know we want to honeymoon in the South of France, but that's about the extent of our plans -- we're both so busy that neither of us has had time to really research the trip. We've been working with a wedding coordinator, and she's made all of that planning pretty painless. Should we look to a pro for our honeymoon too? What are the advantages to booking our trip through a travel agent?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>We're so excited about our honeymoon in Greece, and I know we're going to want to share our snapshots with everyone we know when we get back. Do you have any tips for taking great holiday photos?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:20+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>How should I address an invitation to a married couple if the wife has kept her maiden name both socially and professionally?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:12+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Recently I received two wedding invitations. The inside envelope was addressed differently on each one. One to Mr. and Mrs. and one to John and Jane Smith. Now that I'm sending out wedding invitations, I'd like to know which is correct. Or are both acceptable?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:18+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I didn't get very good instructions with my invitations on how to assemble them. Please advise!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I had planned to have my adorable niece be the flower girl in my wedding, but I just encountered a serious hiccup with my ceremony site: They won't allow her to throw rose petals in the sanctuary! Can I still include her in the ceremony without them, or will her presence seem strange without the flowers?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:45+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Help! I've been getting strange looks from my friends after telling them I want to have six flower girls in our wedding. Instead of having my four sisters as bridesmaids, I thought I'd honour them by having their children in the wedding. Is that terrible? I haven't asked them yet for fear of being shot down. What do I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I will be having a babysitter at my wedding to take care of my son and all the other invited children. Would it be tacky to put a note in the invites asking parents if they might use the babysitter?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Where do the children who are in the wedding party sit at the reception? Should it be with the bridal party, or with their parents? What if one of their parents is in the wedding party?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

I have a guest list of 50 for my destination wedding in Hawaii. With such a small guest list, there are plenty of people on my B-list that I'd still love to have -- I just need to be sure that I keep the total from going over 50. If some of my initial A-list guests decline my invitation, can I then go ahead and extend an invitation to someone else?

2009-08-24T03:46:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My best friend and I are having a double wedding. Luckily, we agree on just about everything! There is just one problem -- the first dance. She wants Celine Dion and I want Van Morrison. Who gets to boogie down first?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:22+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I don't know what kind of music I want for our reception. It will be held on the beautiful grounds of our city's art museum, which has an old fashioned garden feel and was once the estate of a well-known local family. The wedding is in September -- if weather permits, the music and dance floor can be outside. Because of this setup, my mother and I are opposed to a DJ, yet I would like to have a variety of music played.</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Do my guests really expect the wedding band to play songs like 'Y.M.C.A.', 'Nutbush', or the 'Macarena'? One of my bridesmaids made a joke about it the other day, and now I'm freaking out -- I guess they're sort of 'traditional,' but I really don't care for kitsch on the big day. Are we okay keeping these off of our playlist?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; was raised mainly by his stepmother. She and his father have generously offered us help, advice, and money for our upcoming wedding, while his birth mother hasn't offered to pay for anything, nor has she shown any interest in her only son's wedding. We decided to have two mother-son dances: one with his mum and one with his stepmother. Our question is, which mum should he dance with first?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>My parents have been divorced since I was quite young. While my stepfather has been a supportive and loving parent, my dad has always been a major part of my life. My problem is that I don't know which of them to choose for my father-daughter dance. I don't want to hurt my stepfather by dancing with my dad, and I don't want to hurt my dad by not doing it at all.</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Not long ago, my fianc<em>&eacute;</em>'s brother was killed while serving in Iraq. After many tears and much consideration, my fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I have decided to go ahead with our wedding. Understandably, many of our guests as well as ourselves and our families have been deeply affected by this tragedy. How can we celebrate our marriage and still pay homage to our fallen friend and brother?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>We've spent lots of time getting all of the directions, accommodation info, and other information onto our wedding website -- now what is the proper etiquette for letting our guests know about it? Also, can we have them RSVP online instead of by mail?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:34+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>We're not sure if we can afford the services of a wedding consultant, but we desperately need help -- we both work full time and our jobs require frequent travel on the weekends. What are our options?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I love my groom dearly and want to look into his eyes on the morning of the wedding! (Though this does not mean I plan to spend the night with him.) He wants to invite the entire wedding party to his house for a wedding day breakfast. Can I go, or am I left out in the cold? It seems to me there is a tradition of not seeing the groom on the wedding day.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:38+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>The wedding venue we have our heart set on is already booked on Saturday nights until 2011, so if we want to get married before then (and we do!) we're faced with either doing it on a Friday night or on the Sunday night. Which option would be preferable to the majority of people?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:38+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I keep hearing that when you block a bunch of rooms with a hotel you should receive a discounted rate. So far, with the few hotels we've checked, this hasn't been the case. What's the story?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>We're not very far into planning (we've only booked the basics), and I'm afraid we're already way over budget. We don't have a lot of leeway when it comes to money -- how can we cut costs?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I am getting married in October and the reception will be held in my parents' backyard. Where can I find out what the weather has been in the past on this date, including precipitation, temperature, and sunset? I've tried the Internet and have had no luck.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I am getting married in four weeks and can't decide what to do with my last name. I want to take my husband's name, but as the last generation with my family name, I feel a need to retain it. I am also attached to my middle name, so I don't wish to make my maiden name my middle name. I've thought about hyphenating, but our names don't sound right together. I am looking for a way to take both last names <em>and</em> keep my middle name. What are the options?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I know that most people get married on a Saturday, but how common is it to have a wedding on another day? Saturday weddings are so expensive and I am tossing around the idea of a Friday or Sunday evening wedding.</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:28+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>We chose our wedding date -- which falls on a Wednesday -- because it's the anniversary of the day we met. Problem is, our families are grumbling about a midweek wedding. The date we want won't fall on the weekend for three years, and we can't wait that long!</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I have purchased bulk bags of Jordan almonds to place inside small cardboard boxes as my bombonieres. I would like to assemble them in advance, but I'm not sure how long they will stay fresh in the cardboard boxes. Will the almonds go stale?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Should I stay the night with my fianc&eacute; the night before the wedding? We have lived together for a few years and I want to make sure that we both sleep as well as possible before the big day -- I would hate to have one of us to sleep somewhere new. Is that okay?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:37+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>What are some alternatives to the traditional head table? I don't think I really want everyone to eat facing all of our other guests, and I feel like our wedding party might rather sit with their dates than with each other.</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I am getting married next April in an afternoon wedding, and my fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I are trying to figure out how to save on catering. What do you suggest we serve in order to save money?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>We are getting married at noon. Would it be okay to have a tea reception or must we serve a full meal?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I have always dreamt of red as my wedding day colour. But we are marrying at my parent&rsquo;s country club, and the main colour in the carpet and on the walls is navy blue. Will this look okay?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:39+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I'm in the middle of planning my reception and the site coordinator needs to know whether my fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I will be sitting at a sweetheart table. I don't know what that is. Aren&rsquo;t the bride and groom supposed to sit with the wedding party?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:38+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Is it better to seat the parents of the bride and groom at the same reception table or at different tables?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:34+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>I've invited my celebrant to the reception. My question is where should he sit? I feel like it's only appropriate to seat my celebrant at the head table, but I really wanted to have just my wedding party there.</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>As a bride, I feel I have enough on my plate without worrying about providing disposable cameras, even though I think it's a good idea. So who exactly puts them on the tables and who collects them?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:50:34+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

If you ask an acquaintance from your church to sing a solo during the wedding, is it expected that he will be paid? If so, how do you determine the amount? When I asked him if he would do me the honour, he never mentioned being paid. Now I don’t want to insult him by offering payment. Would a gift certificate to a nice restaurant along with a thank you note be acceptable?

2009-08-24T03:50:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Are there any rules about tipping the wedding planner? Ours has just been outstanding and I feel like we should give her something extra.</p>

2009-08-24T03:50:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:14+00:00

<p>Please tell me who is responsible for giving a gratuity to the minister, organist, and soloist?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are saving money for a house, so we're planning on keeping our wedding relatively simple. He and his groomsmen have decided to wear their own suits rather than renting or buying formalwear, so does that mean my bridesmaids and I should do the same? Do I have to wear a less formal gown?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:20+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>When is the best time to shop for a ring?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I'm getting married in Phuket in May and it's going to be steaming hot. What should my fianc&eacute; wear? I was thinking a nice linen suit, but he's not sure. Any suggestions?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:19+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I'm getting married next year. My fianc&eacute;e has already picked out her dress and now is hinting that she is ready to go choose my tux. I think I should be able to pick out my own tux (I'm a grown man after all). I can't even see her gown, so why should she choose what I wear?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>For a number of reasons, we have decided not to have attendants. Each of us would like to be escorted down the aisle by both of our parents. His mother says this isn't appropriate. I know it's unusual, but is there really a reason why we must have attendants? We will have our parents sign as witnesses.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:48+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Since my wedding party will be made up of my immediate family, I would like to ask my two female cousins (with whom I am very close) to be ushers. Are female ushers appropriate in an otherwise traditional wedding? Should their dresses match the bridesmaids' dresses, and how should they appear in the programme?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I want to honour both my sister and best friend with the title of honour attendant. The problem is that they are both married, and I was always told you could not have two matrons of honour. What will etiquette let me get away with?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>What if my fianc&eacute; has only a best man and two ushers in mind, and I have a maid of honour and three women that I would like as bridesmaids? Do the sides have to be equal? I can't pick just three!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; wants to have a friend of his who I'm acquainted with to be a bridesmaid. I'm okay with this; she's very nice, and if we didn't live so far apart, I'm sure we would be friends. But who should ask her, him or me? I would feel uncomfortable just calling her myself.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>If your fianc&eacute;'s sister is already married and has two kids, do you have to have her in the wedding party?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:50+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I do not get along with my fianc&eacute;'s sisters. Do they have to be in the wedding party?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>How can I ask my friends to be bridesmaids when they're scattered all over the country? Would it be appropriate to send a short note, or is it better to call each one? And what would be my gracious response if any of them has to say no?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I only want three bridesmaids (for 150 guests). Since both my fianc&eacute; and I believe family is most important in our lives (and I don't have any siblings), I plan on asking his two sisters to be in my wedding. I've decided I would prefer to ask my cousin, with whom I've just recently rekindled ties, to be the other bridesmaid (in fact, the maid of honour!) instead of my friend of 12 years (we've drifted a little the last three years). I know my friend expected to be in the wedding. Do you think it is inappropriate to suddenly decide not to have her? Should I go ahead and have four bridesmaids just to ease through the situation? I really only wanted three.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I am fortunate to have many close girlfriends. However, a friend said she thought that it might be tacky to have more than 5 bridesmaids. I wouldn't want to leave anyone out, but I wouldn't want to have more bridesmaids than groomsmen. Is it appropriate to have as many as 8-10 bridesmaids?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I want to ask my friends to be bridesmaids, but I am not exactly sure how. Do I just call them up and ask, or should I do something a little more personal? I really want to let them know how important they are to me.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:50+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Is it necessary to ask an older family member (in this case, a first cousin) to be in my bridal party because I was in hers five years ago? If I ask her, I will also feel obligated to ask her two sisters.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:47+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I have four best friends and a sister, and I am torn about who to ask to be in the wedding! It's not big enough to have them all (only 100 guests)!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:50+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I have had a very long engagement during which one of my bridesmaids became pregnant. Her due date is my wedding date! Even if she doesn't have the child that day, she's probably not going to feel up to walking down the aisle, let alone standing for 45 minutes. Should I ask her to step down?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:49+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Most of my wedding party is from out of town. They will most likely need to stay in a hotel for two to three nights. My parents think it is the attendants' responsibility to pay for their rooms. I think that the bride's family is supposed to pay for the out of town bridesmaids, while the groom's family pays for the visiting groomsmen. Who is responsible? Would it be okay to split the cost with the attendants as a possible compromise?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Are bridesmaids supposed to purchase their dresses, and should groomsmen pay for their tux rentals? My friend says she has never heard of such a thing, and that I'm supposed to pay.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I want to design the dresses for my bridesmaids. I plan on simple, sleek, and black. Is this a good idea?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I'm the last sister in my family to tie the knot. If I choose one of my sisters to be my matron of honour, I have two to choose from who have never been chosen before. I'd hate to leave one out. One is closest to my age and the other is my godmother (there are seven girls in the family). How should I handle this?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:25+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I am the maid of honour in the wedding of my best friend from high school. Each time I talk to her to discuss wedding plans, the conversation ends up hurting me in some way. For example, I told her I wanted to host a shower, and she said she didn't think that was a good idea since I don't know the rest of her friends. She later asked if I would be willing to host a small shower in our hometown, but then told me she wanted it held at her parents' house instead of my parents'. Now she has asked me to head up the clean up crew for the wedding reception in addition to MOH duties. When I asked who else would be helping out, she said that she was sure someone would pitch in. I'm extremely upset and have seriously considered throwing in the MOH towel altogether.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:21+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I've always known that I'd ask my best friend to be my maid of honour since I'm closer to her than just about anybody (except, of course, my fianc&eacute;!). The problem is that she's a 5'11" supermodel lookalike -- and I'm suddenly finding myself worried that her looks will upstage me on the big day! Am I crazy? Selfish? I feel totally guilty for even letting it cross my mind once, but I can't stop thinking about it!</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My mum and dad are recently divorced and my father wants to bring his new girlfriend. I don't want my mother's feelings to be hurt. What should we tell him?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:05+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute;'s parents went through a messy divorce, and his sisters and mother hate his dad. We were discussing the wedding, and his sisters said that we better have two ceremonies, one for their mother's side and one for their father's side of the family. I think this is an unfair demand. What can we say to them?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My stepdaughter is getting married. Her mother and I were divorced a couple of years ago after 15 years of marriage, during the child-raising years of my former wife's children. My ex-wife sent the invitation addressed only to me and not to the woman who I have subsequently married. I would very much like to attend the wedding to show that I care very much about my stepdaughter, but her mother, who sent the invitation with no reference to my wife, has obviously done so as an insult of some sort. What is the proper etiquette for such an invitation? Should my wife accompany me, should I attend by myself, or should neither of us attend?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My divorced parents are both remarried and get along great -- except in the presence of my father's wife. She seems to feel threatened by me, my mum, and my siblings. I found out that she is planning to wear a very revealing red dress to my wedding, probably to upstage my mother. I feel very uncomfortable about this because she will stand out in a sea of black, white, and silver (my colours). I know it sounds childish, but this is my day, and I want her to dress more appropriately. I want to talk to my dad (who will give me away) about this, but I don't know how receptive he'll be. Should I confront him or her, or should I just ignore it?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I'm in an awful parent-stepparent bind. I've already decided that my stepfather will walk me down the aisle. He <em>is</em> my father, my daddy, my confidante. But there is this other man in my life: my bio dad. My bio dad's wife threatened my relationship with him if he didn't walk me down the aisle. I'm just not sure if I should even have him participate in any of the events, such as the receiving line or the father-daughter dance.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We are several months into planning our wedding, but my future in-laws have not yet offered to contribute, financially or otherwise. I asked my fianc&eacute; to speak with them, but he seems very reluctant to do so. Should I assume they do not wish to contribute, or should I speak with them myself? I really don't want to offend them, but we do need to know!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I decided a long time ago that we wanted to go to Hawaii for our honeymoon. My fianc&eacute;'s father has offered many times to help with expenses (his parents are much more well-off than mine). Well, my parents have announced they will pay for the entire wedding, which is wonderfully generous. We decided to ask his parents to pay for the honeymoon, since traditionally that is the groom's parents' domain. When we showed them Hawaii brochures, they said they weren't going to send us there. We were floored; this was basically a sure thing. Now what do we do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>With the exception of a few specific expenses, my parents are paying for my sister's wedding. There seems to be some confusion on etiquette -- what level of decision-making power does this extend to my parents vs. my sister and her fianc&eacute;? My mum sometimes feels she's being treated like an ATM. On the other hand, the "I'm the hostess" position she's taking often seems a little selfish. Could you please explain the proper level of decision-making power of the host and hostess (i.e., Mum and Dad)?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:45+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>If a couple decides to wed in a distant location, who pays for lodging the guests?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My friend's son is getting married and he just told her that the groom's parents are supposed to pay for the honeymoon! I have never heard of this. My friend is not well off, and she doesn't know what to do. What should she do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My bride-to-be's parents do not support our wedding and almost certainly are not attending -- nor are virtually any other relatives from her side. How should we deal with our ceremony (particularly the walk down the aisle!) and receiving line to avoid bringing additional attention to this unfortunate and painful situation?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I am getting married in the fall and will acquire three sisters-in-law. However, I literally can't stand one of them. How can I avoid being around her at the reception -- I don't want her to ruin my wedding day!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>This may sound kind of funny, but I am having trouble with my future MIL trying to save us <em>too much</em> money on the wedding! I knew even before I met my fianc&eacute; what kind of wedding I wanted, and I am more than willing to pay the extra money for it! For example, my niece will be my flower girl, and I want her dress to coordinate with my tulle dress, but my MIL suggested we buy a dress cheaply from one of her relatives, even though it's satin and not what I am looking for. It's getting to the point where I can't even tell her anything about the wedding, because she will replace all my ideas with cheaper ones! I really like my fianc&eacute;'s mother, and I don't want to hurt her feelings, but this is getting annoying!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I had a huge falling-out with my future brother-in-law. I really don't want him in or at our wedding. How do I approach my fianc&eacute; (if I do) about the idea of not inviting his brother? And if I have no choice, how can I deal with his brother being there?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I really want to honour my grandparents at my wedding. They're both in their 90s, and they'll both be at the ceremony and reception! Any ideas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:34+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I'm getting married next June. My parents want a traditional wedding, but we definitely don't. We want simplicity -- wedding at the Registry and dinner, that's it! What should we do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:34+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I would love to include my soon-to-be sister-in-law in my wedding, but there are no tasks left for her to do! I want her to feel welcome and included. How can I do this?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My father recently remarried but told me two weeks after their wedding. I now have a stepmother and a stepsister, both of whom I'm not very fond of. I would love my father to attend my wedding, but do I have to invite his new wife and stepdaughter?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:29+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Without getting into extreme detail: My sister is 13 years older than I am, and we are not close. She is, let's just say, the black sheep of the family. Should I feel obligated to invite her to my wedding just because she is my sister?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:33+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My soon-to-be mother-in-law is making me crazy! She calls every few weeks to tell us she's angry about something involving the wedding and won't come. Then the next week she calls back to say she's sorry. I'm sick of it, and the thought of her ruining the rehearsal dinner makes me sick! Is there anyway to politely tell her my parents will throw it instead? (She's from out of town.)</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My mother has taken over our guest list. It wouldn't be that big of a deal (she is footing the bill, after all), except that the chapel we've chosen for the ceremony isn't exactly enormous -- it holds about 200. Is there any polite way we can rein in her list?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:35+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My mum ended up choosing a dress completely the opposite of what she was planning to get. Not only is it long, it's also ivory. Now my two mothers-in-law-to-be (one's a step) feel that they need to get long ivory dresses too. I know that technically they are supposed to coordinate length and colour, but is it really that big of a deal?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:28+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My cousin recently called me and asked if her brother could propose to his girlfriend during my wedding reception. I do not want them to do this, but they don't seem to understand that I am saying no. How do I make it clear that I'm opposed to the idea?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:26+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We're planning to order a pair of toasting glasses and a cake knife and server set, which we would like to have engraved. Is there a proper way to word the engraving? We both go by nicknames (Carrie and Alex), but of course our real names are more formal (Carolyn and Alexander). Which names should we use, and whose name should go first?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:37+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>What do you think of the bride's father being a groomsman in the wedding?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:37+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>How much should we spend on groomsmen gifts? My fianc&eacute; and I are paying for our wedding ourselves and have a pretty strict budget, but every suggestion he makes for groomsmen gifts seems outrageous to me. Hundred-dollar golf clubs? We can't afford this unless we make major concessions in other areas. My fianc&eacute; just seems so intent on getting his buddies something fancy. How important is it to shower our groomsmen with super-expensive thanks?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Is there such a thing as a junior groomsman? My fianc&eacute; and I want to involve my younger twin brothers (who will be 15 at the time of the wedding), but he doesn't want them to be groomsmen. I think they could be ushers, but someone told me there isn't a difference between an usher and a groomsman. Is this right?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:37+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We have a maid of honour and a best man but are considering not having additional bridesmaids or groomsmen. If we don't have groomsmen, then who will be our ushers?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:37+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I am getting married in August, and someone I know is getting married in July. He asked me to be his best man, but I have my own wedding to plan! How do I decline without hurting any feelings?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My husband and I were recently invited to a 3:00 pm wedding ceremony followed by a 6:00 pm black tie reception. Does this mean that he should wear a suit for the ceremony and then change into a tux for the reception? And does that mean that I have to change dresses?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>A friend of mine is getting married soon, and her wedding colour -- from the invites to the cake -- is pink. She let her bridesmaids choose their own dresses (all pink), which is where my problem comes in -- I want to wear my best dress to the wedding, but it's pink too. I don't want to be mistaken for a bridesmaid, so should I consider the wedding colour off-limits?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My parents want to invite the whole world to our wedding. They&rsquo;re willing to pay for the extra guests, but we&rsquo;d rather keep things small and intimate. How can I rein them in?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We sent out our wedding invitations two weeks ago, but my fianc&eacute; and future mother-in-law keep calling with additional names. Right now, the guest list is 30% my family and 70% his! In addition, we're already over budget -- and my future mother-in-law isn't paying (or offering to pay) for anything. I'm really frustrated. What should I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:48+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We are having a late July wedding in Canberra. The reception is outside. What do I put on the invitations to let people know to dress warmly (it will be rather chilly) and casually?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>The country club where we are having the reception has a rule about men wearing jackets after 5 p.m. I'm not sure how to pass this info on to my guests. Can I put "Jackets Please" in the lower corner of the invite?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:57+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We are having the ceremony and the reception at the same site. Our celebrant is a wonderful man who we like very much, but we only met him recently. We are paying him for his services, but I thought it would be appropriate to ask him to stay for the reception. My mother thinks that it&rsquo;s not necessary, and that we should ask him to stay only for cocktails. My father doesn&rsquo;t think we need to invite him at all. What should we do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:50+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We're having a reception at my parents' home, which is in a pretty small and quiet neighborhood. My mother thinks that we should invite all of the people who live on our street to the reception, just out of courtesy. I'm okay with it &mdash; although I only really know one of the families, and none of them know my fianc&eacute; &mdash; but my dad is not (he doesn't want to pay for 30 more guests). What should we do?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; wants to invite his ex-girlfriend to our wedding. He says they are still friends, but they haven't even talked in six months (as far as I know, at least). He claims to be friends with all his exes actually, even the ones that were horrible to him. Is he just being friendly, or does he want to show her he has someone else and show me that other women have been interested in having serious relationships with him too? Am I being totally insecure? If I am, I want to mend my ways before I jeopardise our relationship.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>How should I send invitations to the girlfriends of my fianc&eacute;'s ushers? Should I invite them and guest so they have a friend to sit with while their boyfriends are at the head table? If no, then won't they be sitting alone? What is the correct thing to do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:48+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I am planning on inviting several people from work to my wedding. Most of my co-workers have grown children, but one has two elementary-age kids. There will be other children at my wedding, but they're family. Do I invite the children, whom I've never met, or do I force my co-worker to find a babysitter?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We are having a Saturday-afternoon reception that includes a cocktail hour and a full dinner. How do I let guests know that it's not just an afternoon informal brunch? I would like it to be formal attire but not black tie.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:49+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I work in a small medical clinic where everyone knows everyone. While I have several close friends there, there are a few people I would rather not invite to my wedding. What is the best way to go about this without upsetting anyone?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:50+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We&rsquo;re trying to cut our guest list. Would it be rude to send out separate cards inviting some guests to an &ldquo;After-dinner Celebration?&rdquo;</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My secretary is inviting me to her wedding. Should I invite her to mine? I'm not inviting co-workers, just my peers.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:50+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I invited a single friend with a guest, and when she returned the reply card, she'd written another female friend of hers. She's not seeing this person, so she's just a friend and definitely not a date -- I don't want to pay for her friend! What can I do?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:49+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>While searching for our ceremony and reception sites, we keep running into a problem. Our entire guest list is about 150, and while we've found tonnes of reception sites that can accommodate that many people, the ceremony spots we love, hold less than half that (some hold a max of 50!). Should we just stop being choosy and compromise on our ceremony site?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>What is the proper way to inform guests that a wedding has been cancelled? The invitations have already gone out, but the wedding is not for a month.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>If invited guests do not respond to a formal wedding invitation, even though a response card was supplied, should we call them to find out if they will come? Or can we assume that they're not coming?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I just received an invitation to a relative's wedding. The bottom of the invitation says "Black Tie Invited" -- what exactly does that mean?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:42+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Friends of ours, a married couple, will be vacationing in Fiji during the same week we'll be there -- a total coincidence. Are we obligated to spend time with them or can we play the role of reclusive honeymooners?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I'm thinking about using labels to address my wedding invitations. I've heard several people say this is tacky. I know handwriting them is more formal, but I just think labels will be less time consuming. What do you think?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We want to design our own wedding programmes but aren't sure where to start. How long do our wedding programmes need to be?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>What is the etiquette regarding hand delivered wedding invitations? I want to bring them to my co-workers and a few friends who live near my office. Is this appropriate?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:11+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We are planning a small wedding at a restaurant and it will be pretty casual. I was thinking we could do a nice online invitation, but my mother insists that that is just plain tacky. Who's right?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:17+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We are getting married at a local hotel on the beach. The ceremony will be held outside, with the reception following in a banquet room inside. It seems silly to include a separate reception card with the same location, but I have no idea how to fit it all on the wedding invitation. Any ideas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Is it true that the people whose names are on the invitations are the ones who paid for the wedding?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:19+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I'm having a small, low budget wedding and I thought it might be nice and less expensive to handwrite my invites. However, I don't know how to do calligraphy very well. Would my handwriting the invitations come across as cheap?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:05+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>How much time do you allow for guests to return reception response cards? My wedding is 11 months away. If invitations should go out six to eight weeks before the wedding, what date should I put on the response cards?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:18+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I will be getting married at 5:30 p.m. How do I word the time on the invitations? I've heard "half after five" is appropriate, but I think it sounds stuffy. If "five thirty" is okay, should I hyphenate or not? Also, should I say "in the afternoon" or "in the evening?" I don't want my guests to think I'm having a formal, black tie wedding -- plus it's summer and the sun will still be up, so I'm leaning toward "afternoon."</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:10+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I am considering having an outdoor wedding in June, but am concerned about unpredictable weather at that time of year. I can make backup arrangements, but how should I handle this on the invitations? Is it wrong to list a second location with the words "in case of bad weather" on the invites?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My parents, who will be hosting our wedding, are both retired Army Lieutenant Colonels. How do we properly word their names and titles on the invitations? I want to include my mother's title as well as my dad's.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Is it tacky to use postcards as reply cards? Postage would be a little bit less expensive, but since I plan on having very traditional invitations, would postcards be inappropriate?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I am having an outdoor, semiformal wedding. I am wondering if it is necessary (and proper) to have a wedding programme? My fianc&eacute; does not want one, and I personally don't care. What is the best thing to do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:18+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Our wedding invitations do not have an inner envelope. How should I address an invite to a large family without using "and family"?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Is it considered tacky to write in the number of invited guests on the response card?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:07+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Do we have to send wedding invitations to our parents and attendants? They're working closely with us on the planning, and they obviously know when the wedding is, so isn't it redundant?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:12+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>What do RSVP and Regrets Only mean? Also, do you <em>have</em> to respond if not attending?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:05+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I were originally planning a destination wedding in Greece, but now we've decided to whittle our guest list down to just the two of us and simply elope. Instead of a wedding overseas, we'd like to celebrate with a reception when we get back. How should we word our invitations so people know we're already married?</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:19+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I love the idea of a programme, but I don't know the first thing about what should be said in one. What are the more common uses and contents?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>How far in advance should you send invitations?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I'm inviting 200 guests. The majority of them are local; but roughly 15 percent are from other states. Should I send invitations to the out of town guests separately? Or should I send the whole bunch at the same time? And should I send save-the-date cards to out-of-towners? I've had so many different responses to this question; I'd appreciate your input.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:17+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>We are having a very informal wedding with just 16 guests. We're not even sending invitations. But I do want to send announcements to those we are not inviting. When do those go out, and how are they worded?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Going through our response cards and guest list, there's a huge hole -- no one from my mother-in-law's family has replied. Can I ask her to find out whether they're coming? They're her guests, after all -- it's not like I've ever met them.</p>

2009-08-24T03:49:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>When it comes to local people, who gets invitations? I've been told that it is proper for local people to receive invites, and I've also been told that it is up to me. I want to do what's right for my wedding, but I don't want to go overboard and spend way too much money on locally sent invitations.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:45+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My parents have offered to pay for our wedding reception with a guest list of 150 people. It was a dream come true until my fianc&eacute; announced that the list wasn't big enough for him! He insists on including every last one of his friends (even ones he hasn't talked to in years), bringing the total up to 200. The size of the site isn't a problem -- it's my reluctance to ask my parents to cough up the cash for another 50 guests. What should we do?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I am the mother of the bride, with a very small budget. My problem is that her fianc&eacute;'s mother suggested that my daughter and her son elope and take the cash from us as a down payment on a new home! This really annoys me. I only have one daughter, and I was looking forward to having a celebration. My future son-in-law seems to like his mother's idea. What do you suggest?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

My mother says that when I moved in with my fiance I relinquished the right to wear white on my wedding day. Is this true?

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:25+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I want to get married on Easter Sunday next year, both because I want to get married in April and it&rsquo;s the only available weekend that month with the suppliers I want to use. I have asked my relatives and many friends if it would interfere with their traditions too much to get married on Easter and the vast majority say it is fine, but I am wondering if you have advice about getting married on this day. Can I expect a low turnout because it is a Christian holiday?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Is it necessary to send out formal invitations for the rehearsal dinner or can it be done by word of mouth? We are trying to cut costs and think this may be a good way to do that.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:00+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Is it improper for the bride and groom to host the rehearsal dinner?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My husband will be the best man in a wedding soon, and though I'm invited to the wedding itself, it's not clear whether I'm invited to the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. Should I just go anyway?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:00+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My aunt and uncle are generously paying for my rehearsal dinner, so I want to keep it affordable for them. One restaurant we like can do a menu of appetisers and light bites that works with our budget. Is it okay to serve that or will everyone be expecting more of a "meal"?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:59+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I just bought a house and have our hands full paying for that and the wedding; thus, we can't afford to have a rehearsal dinner too. Neither of us has parents, so asking for financial help is not an option. My sister suggested we have a gathering of the wedding party and family, but with the understanding that they have to pay for their own meal, but that seems tacky. What should I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I have asked some dear friends to help set up for my wedding. Although they are not in the wedding party, should I still invite them to the rehearsal dinner?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Are there any special things the groom's parents should make sure happen at the rehearsal dinner? I'm a very inexperienced mother of the groom planning from 1,000 kilometres away.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I am a freelance writer and haven't had health insurance for almost a year now. I'm getting married in six months, though, and my fianc&eacute; has insurance through his company. Once we're married, am I eligible for coverage under his plan?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>It seems like since the second we got engaged, every third person says, "So, when are you two having kids?" We're not even married yet! How should we answer this rude request?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>Is it traditional for the bride to drop her middle or last name if she chooses to take her husband's name?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I just realised that my fianc&eacute; and I don't agree about anything -- money, kids, etc. We love each other, and want to be together more than anything, but is love really enough? I'm depressed about all this fighting. What do you think?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>If a couple chooses to call off their wedding, who gets the engagement ring?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; has a child from his first marriage that I have no interest or desire in incorporating into my wedding. Some say that I am obligated to do so, but my future husband just wants to do what makes me happy. He comes from a large, traditional family who would be offended if I didn't incorporate his son in the festivities. I don't want to because it's our day, and I don't need a reminder of my fianc&eacute;'s past lack of contraception. What do you think?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>My sister is marrying a guy with whom she has lived for six years. They are inviting his ex-wife and many of her relatives to the wedding. One of his ex's nieces will even be in the wedding party. I feel it is tacky to have his ex-wife at the wedding, although they have a grown daughter together and have stayed good friends. It just doesn't seem appropriate. Am I wrong?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:26+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>I love the look of candid wedding shots, but all of my married friends have traditional, posed pictures. How do I choose?</p>

2009-08-24T03:50:39+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:13+00:00

<p>When should formal pictures be taken?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I recently decided on a wedding dress that's available in both white and ivory. I thought the ivory was much prettier, but when I mentioned it to my boyfriend's family his mother seemed to think it was odd and that everyone would "talk". My mum says it's up to me, and so does my fianc&eacute;.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:07+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I've already chosen a veil, but it doesn't work with the hairstyle I&rsquo;ve decided upon. What do I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:10+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>What's the different between the princess (does this look like a wide A-line, a ball gown, or neither?), A-line, ball gown, and sheath (are these always form-fitting?) silhouettes? What other styles are there? Am I forgetting something? I'm so confused!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I'm doing everything possible to ensure that I look my best for my aisle walk next month. But what can I do to give my fianc&eacute; a boost to make him feel pampered and looking his best for our big day?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My groomsmen and I would rather wear our own tuxes than rent them. Will it seem strange that we have different lapels and notches? We're having a black tie wedding, and I want us to look different from our male guests.</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:48+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My 10-year-old daughter is in my wedding as a junior bridesmaid, but I was wondering if there is such a thing as a junior maid of honour. My sister is my maid of honour.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:47+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Are there guidelines for the number of wedding attendants per number of guests?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My brother is getting married and has asked me to be in his wedding party. However, I'm married, and my wife feels that it would be insulting to her if I said yes and she was not a member of the wedding party. What should I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I'm the maid of honour in my best friend's wedding, and I was excited to plan her shower until I received an email from another bridesmaid. It announced that she'd already planned the shower and that help from the other attendants wasn't necessary as she has everything "under control." Do I talk to my friend about being blindsided by this wannabe MOH?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I'm having two showers: a traditional one thrown by my aunts and a couple's shower hosted by my future mother-in-law. One of my bridesmaids not so nicely implied that my fianc&eacute; and I were being greedy by having more than one shower. But what can we do about it?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I am hosting a shower for a dear friend. We have ordered 25 beautiful invitations. Should the bride receive one, or is her invitation implied since she is the guest of honour? Forgive me if this is a silly question; I just want this shower to be perfect!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I am the maid of honour in charge of ordering the cake for my sister's bridal shower. What would be appropriate to have written on the top?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:57+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Exactly how do you plan a bridal shower? What does a shower consist of?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>As the MOH for a close friend, I am expecting to give her a shower. I asked her for a list of invitees, expecting 20-30 people, and yesterday she handed me a list of 60 people! She said her future mother-in-law suggested she would get more gifts from the registry this way. Do I have to invite all these people? The other bridesmaids and I don't have unlimited funds. Can I call the mother-in-law and tell her it's too much for us to handle? Shouldn't she consider hosting a shower of her own to accommodate the friends and relatives we can't?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I have friends that are giving me several showers. I would like my bridesmaids and house party to attend them all, because I enjoy their company and I want to share this special time with them. But I don't want or expect them to bring a gift to each shower. How do I politely tell them not to feel obligated to do so? Their help and involvement in the wedding is more than enough.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I'm marrying in Jamaica, and we are having a cocktail party the night before we leave. My aunt wants to throw me a shower, but I'm not sure if it is appropriate. My fianc&eacute; and I are living together, and we are not registering for gifts. We prefer no gifts. If I have a shower, won't I have to register?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I am the maid of honour -- for the second time -- in my friend's second marriage. She doesn't want a wedding shower; she's having a family wedding luncheon and not inviting a lot of friends. I really don't know what to do. What is the etiquette for the maid of honour for second marriages? I would like to do something special for her, but I'm not sure what -- she keeps saying she wants to keep everything really intimate. Any suggestions would help!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:57+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I am the MOH for a friend who attended the same college I attend now, but she dropped out and lives five hours away. Since most of her college friends are still here, could I host a shower without the bride in attendance (due to distance and end-of-semester time constraints)?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My mother's good friend hosted my shower, and so my mum says it's imperative that I send her a gift. I plan to write her a thank you note but giving a gift seems excessive to me. Is a bride required to give a gift to her wedding shower hostess?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My maid of honour (and my only attendant) wants to throw me a shower at a restaurant, and she expects the guests to pay for their meals. I told her I would rather have the shower at someone's house with cake and snacks. She said she wants to have it where we can be waited on, which is fine, but my friends would have to pay to attend my shower! How can I handle this without hurting her feelings? She is very sensitive.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:57+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My matron of honour asked me to give her a guest list for my bridal shower. Do I invite all the women who will be invited to the wedding or just close family and friends? Also, I will be inviting several people from the East Coast to my West Coast wedding. Do I send them shower invitations, even though I know they won't be able to attend, or will this look like a ploy to get more gifts?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I'm a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. Is it appropriate for me to change into a nice suit for the reception?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>As soon as I got engaged (more than a year ago), I asked a friend of 12 years to be a bridesmaid. She wasn't thrilled. She also had just moved to another state, which didn't allow us to spend as much time together. During my engagement, I found out that she doesn't really like my fianc&eacute;. I don't feel good about having her in my wedding party, but I think she would be hurt if I didn't ask her. What do I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I recently got engaged, and I want my sister to be my maid of honour. But come wedding time, she is going to be very pregnant, and I'm not sure that she will be able to wear the bridesmaid dresses that I've picked out. How should she dress?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I have had a long engagement, during which my maid of honour also became engaged. This morning, she called me to ask me to be her maid of honour and to tell me they'd picked a date -- the weekend before my wedding! Though I'm annoyed, I realise I technically can&rsquo;t do anything about her date, but I also don't think I have time to be maid of honour in a wedding that's seven days before mine. What should I do?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:59+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I would like to invite my dearest friends to be my bridesmaids. My problem is that I do not want their husbands to be in the wedding party as they will be walking ahead of me alone. Is this okay? Or will I have to bite the bullet and ask their husbands too?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Who pays for bridesmaids' hair and makeup?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We are getting married outside. The ceremony will take place in a natural breezeway. We would like to light a unity candle, but the candles will not stay lit. Are there any alternative ways to incorporate this tradition into the wedding?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:12+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My father passed away years ago. I want to walk down the aisle at our outdoor wedding with my fianc&eacute; -- and my two black Labradors. His mother says the dogs are inappropriate. Are they?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I'd like for my dog Alex to be present at my wedding. I know it sounds nutty but I grew up with him and consider him to be one of my best friends. However, I'm getting married in a church and Alex is a huge golden retriever and tends to get overly excited when he's around crowds. I'm worried he might get rambunctious and disrupt the ceremony. What can I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I will be married by a priest who was our professor at university. We are flying him across the country and paying for his hotel, meals, and transportation. I know traditionally the celebrant should be paid for the service, but we feel uncomfortable offering him money since we know him so well. Is it appropriate to buy him a gift instead?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We're having a friend do a reading during our ceremony. He says he has something really nice picked out and wants to surprise us. We're okay with him selecting something, but we'd like to read it first. Is it rude for us to ask? We don't want to come across as making a "You'll read what we tell you to read!" demand.</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:22+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My father was going to give me away, but now he won't do it because he thinks it's a sexist tradition. What should I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:20+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>The church I'm getting married in is very ornate. It really doesn't need added fresh flowers. Is it alright if I skip the floral arrangements?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>If I have a PhD. (Doctor of Philosophy), is it appropriate for the celebrant to present us to the congregation as "Dr. and Mrs. Robbins" at the end of the ceremony? Or is this reserved for MDs (Medical Doctors) only?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:17+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We are not getting married in my home state and very few members of my family will be there. How should I deal with the seating in the church? His side will be filled, while mine will be virtually empty. Is there anything I can do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>The most amazing thing has happened! My sister and I got engaged just a week apart from each other. We've decided to go ahead and have a double wedding. We just have a few questions, like, who walks down the aisle first and with whom, and which groom gets to kiss his bride first?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I&rsquo;m confused about the logistics of the ceremony exit. Should we exit the church before the guests? If so, how will our guests send us off with bubbles or flower petals if we&rsquo;re ahead of them and already outside?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:19+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>What is the proper order to line up the bridesmaids and groomsmen? I was under the impression that you have them in the order of who is important in your life. Someone else said you put them in order by height. Which is right?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:14+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I'm planning to have five attendants while my fianc&eacute; will only have four. I'm okay with having uneven sides (I don't want him to have to pick someone else that he doesn't truly want up there just for number&rsquo;s sake), but I'm not sure how we should handle having them walk down the aisle.</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I am getting married October 3. This date also happens to be my aunt's birthday -- she died a year ago. I had already picked this date for my wedding, and my family agreed it would be okay to keep the date. I would like some advice about remembering my aunt on this day. Should I have a song played for her? Should I not say anything at all, so as not to upset anyone? Even though it is my happy day, I would still like to remember my aunt.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>One of my fianc&eacute;'s groomsmen was killed in Iraq. My fianc&eacute; is not asking anyone to take his place in the wedding, but besides that notable absence we would really like to find a way to honour him that's both delicate and proper. Do you have any suggestions?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:21+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I am a single mum, and my fianc&eacute; and I would like to have my son (soon to be our son) participate in the wedding ceremony, not just as a ring bearer, but in a more significant role to signify the joining of a family. Any ideas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:12+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Is it necessary to have a receiving line? Our wedding is at 7 p.m., immediately followed by a formal dinner. We are stretched for time as it is. Plus, there will be around 350 people. What is appropriate?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:17+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Why does the bride always seem to stand to the groom's left at the altar? I have never seen a wedding where the positions were reversed. I think my "best side" is my left side, and I would rather stand to my groom's right. Is there any reason why this wouldn't be acceptable?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:22+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I asked an acquaintance from my church if he would sing during my ceremony, and when he said he'd do me the honour he never mentioned being paid. Now I don't want to insult him by offering to pay, but I do want to acknowledge my gratitude. Would a gift certificate to a nice restaurant along with a thank you note be acceptable?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:19+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Do stepparents stand in the receiving line? My stepdad would not be at all offended, but my stepmum would (my father will be in the receiving line). How do I handle this?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:21+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I know a receiving line is proper etiquette, but can we spare the wedding party and just include the bride, groom, and our immediate family (mothers, fathers, and grandparents)?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:18+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I do not practice any religion right now, but we would like to be married in a chapel. There are no nondenominational chapels near our reception site, however. Do you know if any Protestant churches will marry people who are not officially members of their religion?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:17+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I'm trying to find fresh ideas on how to have the groomsmen and bridesmaids come down the aisle. Any thoughts?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I&rsquo;m having a traditional Protestant wedding. Does it matter which side of the church the bride and groom stand on? And who seats my mother?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:18+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I have an alternate suggestion regarding the receiving line debate, and I wonder if you think it's appropriate. My sister and brother-in-law did not have a receiving line. Instead of having the ushers dismiss the guests after the ceremony, the bride and groom dismissed the 250 guests themselves, one row at a time. It took about 30 minutes or so. Is this an acceptable alternative?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I am a very confused soon-to-be wedding guest. My knowledge of wedding etiquette is limited. What am I supposed to say to the bride and groom in the receiving line besides congratulations?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:14+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>What can I possibly do about a church that's too small to accommodate all the guests? Our guest list exceeds the church capacity by close to 75 people! It's the church my daughter grew up attending, and we've always pictured her walking down that aisle. What can we do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>When the bridesmaids walk down the aisle, should the groomsmen walk down with them?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:19+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>How does the unity candle work? When is it lit? Can the two sets of parents light it, and then the bride and groom use it to light theirs?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:19+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I am helping a friend with her wedding party setup. There's a maid of honour, a bridesmaid, two junior bridesmaids, two ring girls, one flower girl, and a bell girl, who will announce that the bride has arrived. I'd like your opinion on the bell girl: Where is she placed in the processional?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My friend is having a traditional Greek wedding and I'd like to give her something that is traditionally Greek (in addition to the gift I purchased from her registry, of course.) What can I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I recently spent some time in Greece and fell in love with the landscape and the rich traditions. I&rsquo;ve decided I&rsquo;d like to try to incorporate some Greek customs into my wedding next year. How can I achieve this without dominating the ceremony, and yet still be authentically Greek?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Someone asked me if I planned to have a &ldquo;bouquet dance" at my wedding. I have never heard of this. What is it?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Should the groom's parents invite the bride's parents to dinner upon learning of the engagement?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Is it proper to call my ex to inform him that I'm engaged?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I just got engaged and everyone keeps telling me that we need an "engagement picture." What exactly is this for? We already have great pictures of us.</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:48+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We had a small wedding and didn't invite many people. I didn't send invitations to people I knew wouldn't make the trip because I didn't want them to feel obligated to send a gift. My friend's mother made a comment to her about not receiving an invitation. She sent us a gift, and I was embarrassed, so I kept procrastinating on sending a thank you note. Now it's two years later and I still haven't sent one! How do I go about sending a thank you now?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My parents are paying for everything in our wedding. We have no other family, and only a few friends of mine from work will be invited. My parents have agreed to host 100 guests at a seated-dinner reception with an open bar at a very nice hotel. However, both my fianc&eacute; and his parents are having a fit because they want to invite more guests than that. I feel this is very unfair and I wonder how this can be resolved. My fianc&eacute; will not accept limitations!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:37+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I have asked two close friends to give toasts at our wedding -- and now two more people have asked us whether they can give toasts as well. I'm basically okay with it, but will it be two toasts too many? I feel bad turning them away, but at the same time, I don't want to have to drop either of the friends we originally asked.</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Nearly all of our guests are flying in from out of town, and several are coming in a day early. We've reserved blocks of hotel rooms, but do we also have to arrange transportation in some way? I don't know how we'll do it, with everyone coming at different times, but my fianc&eacute; thinks we have to.</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:30+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My boyfriend and I plan to get married next July, when I'll be 18. One problem: My parents don't like him. What can I say to my parents when it's time to tell them we're getting married?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I am estranged from my father. He is coming to the wedding, but he hasn't contributed in any way, either monetarily or emotionally. In fact, he doesn't even like my fianc&eacute;. Should he be in the receiving line?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:29+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I'm recently engaged, 26-years-old, with a masters degree and a great job. I still live at home and am having trouble "cutting the cord." I feel terrible guilt about moving out and leaving my parents. Please help me rationalise these emotions!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My best friend is getting married in a few months, and her mother has basically disowned her. They've had a pretty good relationship in the past, but recently it has been very rocky. (My friend's mother doesn't approve of her fianc&eacute;.) As of right now, my friend and her mother haven't spoken for more than a month. Should my friend send her mother a wedding invitation? Will she regret it if she doesn't?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:29+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My future in-laws are upset because my fianc&eacute; and I do not want his brother's girlfriend in our formal wedding pictures (that we are paying for). They think we are being rude. Is there any polite way I can tell them that family pictures are just for members of the family?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:35+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My mother is going to escort me down the aisle. The wedding colours are black and ivory. What colour dress does she wear? People are telling me she can't wear black to the wedding. Won't it look weird for both of us to wear ivory?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Is it rude to suggest monetary gifts? We already have a blender (and pretty much everything else!).</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Is it ok to use our wedding shower gifts before the wedding? My mum says that I should wait until after the wedding, but my fianc&eacute; and I already live together and could use the new stuff since we are in the process of purchasing a second home. Is my mum just overreacting, or is it really bad luck?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>If one has an engagement party and received gifts and the couple breaks up, do the gifts and money have to be returned?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:47+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We are paying for most of our wedding, which is quite lavish, and so far most of our guests have given gifts costing around $60 per couple. My sister's husband's parents gave us a $26 gift from our registry. Is this an acceptable gift? What is the etiquette for biting our tongues?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:49+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We received quite a few monetary gifts from guests at our wedding. (We did not register at any stores because I own my home and it is fully furnished.) My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I plan to use our gifts for several home improvement projects, such as building a bar in our partially finished rumpus room and doing some remodelling in our bathroom. Is it acceptable or appropriate to write about the use of the money in our thank you notes?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My neighbour's daughter is getting married in August. We're not that close, so we were invited to the wedding ceremony but not the reception. The invitation indicated that the couple preferred monetary gifts, but my husband and I are wondering if we should give a gift at all since we really don't plan to get all dressed up for a wedding and then not be invited to the party afterward. If we do give them something, what would be appropriate as far as a dollar amount for a money gift?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:48+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>What are the duties of the gift attendant? Am I personally responsible for the transportation of the gifts and for documenting what came from which guest?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:49+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>What should we do if one of our wedding gifts arrives broken?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My wedding is taking place in my fianc<em>&eacute;</em>'s hometown and his mother is planning a "gift opening party" the day after the wedding. I have never heard of this before! Can you tell me what it is?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We are planning a medieval-style wedding, and would like our guests to dress in period costumes. Is it acceptable to ask this of them?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Nearly all of our guests are coming to our wedding from out of town, and we expect it to be a raucous reunion all around (though more for some, like our uni buddies, than for others). Is there any way that we can finesse the accommodations to group everyone together at different hotels?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We're getting married in the new home we just bought. The wedding will be catered. We expect about 100 guests -- is that too many?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:50+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Do I invite my ex parents-in-law? We became very close after my divorce, and they are loving grandparents to my 6-year-old. But their son, my ex, is a total jerk (they freely admit this and don't speak to him now), and I am afraid they may feel uncomfortable around my new family and old relatives that hate their son. What to do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:07+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We are trying to keep our guest list at around 175 people for cost reasons (it's the most we can afford to feed), but we certainly could have more guests -- as long as they didn't eat. Is it okay to invite people just for the dancing portion of the reception, but not the wedding ceremony or the dinner?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:47+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We have family in other cities and we don't expect them to attend our wedding, but we think it's courteous to invite them and share our news with them. But, we don't want them to think the invitation is a request for a gift. What's the right way to handle this?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I recently received an invitation to a wedding reception but not the ceremony. Apparently the church is very small. Is this acceptable?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My daughter is getting married in two months. Her father is deceased. Do I send an invitation to his wife? I've raised the bride for 15 years with little contact with her father and his wife.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My co-workers are throwing me a shower at the office. Do I have to invite everyone from work to the wedding if they come to the shower?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>One of my bridesmaids is in an on-again, off-again relationship. I know the guy's name, but I don't consider him a friend. Assuming they're still together by the time the wedding rolls around, I realise he should be invited, since she definitely considers him to be her significant other when they're together. But if they break up, I don't want to have sent him his own invite and have him show up! (They don't live together, so they'd each have their own.) Would it be way too tacky to invite my bridesmaid "and guest"?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:06+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>What is the appropriate formalwear for a 2:30 p.m. wedding in October? I have heard that morning coats are appropriate for noon and before, and strollers are appropriate for afternoon weddings. What is a stroller?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:47+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Who should be invited to the postwedding brunch? My future in-laws would like to host one, but they would like to invite business associates who are not wedding guests. I disagree! Would it be more appropriate to have a second reception once we return from our honeymoon?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Is it considered rude to write "black tie" on the wedding invitations? My mum says guests won't come if they have to wear a tux.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:17+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My father died a few years ago, and I was wondering how to word my invitations. Do I incude his name as well as my mother's?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>A friend of ours is getting married soon -- she and her mother have a difference of opinion on how the invitations are to be mailed out, specifically the tissue paper that comes with each invitation. Please settle the dispute.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>How do we word invitations to a reception only? My fianc&eacute; and I will be married in Las Vegas and will host a reception the following weekend when we come home.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>What does the "M" mean on the first line of a response card? I'm assuming this is where I fill in our names, but why is the letter there? Is it an abbreviation for Mr./Mrs./Ms.?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I am getting married in Las Vegas in August. When should invitations be sent to give guests enough time to make travel arrangements?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:25+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We love the idea of having an Irish band at the reception, but we're concerned that our guests might not appreciate it after the tenth Irish jig in a row. Is there a way we can still incorporate the music, but not have it be the sole genre at our entire reception? Or will people think it&rsquo;s weird having two very different styles of music.</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:22+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My Protestant daughter is marrying a Jewish man, and she keeps talking about how her wedding will be filled with Klezmer music. I smile and nod, but what is she talking about?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We'd like to have a New Year's Eve wedding. Is starting around 8 p.m. too late? Is it even proper to wed on New Year's Eve?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My husband and I are getting ready to remarry -- each other! It's been ten years. We would like to have a big wedding, bigger than the little family one we first had. Is that okay? And is it okay for me to wear a white dress?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>How can I incorporate the traditional something blue into my wedding without having an entirely blue theme? (My wedding colour is purple.) Do you have any creative suggestions?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We're having a formal wedding but don't want to require black tie. The bridesmaids are wearing black cocktail dresses and the guys will wear black suits. How can we make this formal attire a little more fun?</p>

2009-08-24T03:48:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We are major movie fiends and thought we might create a short film compilation to play throughout the reception dinner. We obviously want romance to be the theme. This can easily become cheesy, so how can we keep it simple and romantic?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:30+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I want to have a potluck reception. Is rude to ask my guests to bring a dish?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I are leaning toward having a dry reception. Will our guests find it too strange not having alcohol, especially for the toasts? Should we let them know in the invitations?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:35+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I really want our guests to get to know each other. We&rsquo;ve collected lots of pictures of them over the years, and now we want to put together a video or slideshow that can be played during the reception. How do we go about doing this?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:38+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>How does an after-party work? Do you have any planning pointers?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:35+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I'm having a candlelit, Friday night wedding at 7 p.m. What's appropriate for the reception? We aren't going to have a seated meal. How can I pull this off with class?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:38+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I like interesting and exotic food, so we chose to have our reception at a restaurant that excels at it. But we're concerned that our meat-and-potatoes families won't like anything we serve. Do we have to offer a boring choice?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:29+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Is it appropriate to have name cards at place settings for a cocktail reception?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:50+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>What&rsquo;s the correct way to write out place cards for single people with dates? I&rsquo;m guessing &ldquo;and Guest&rdquo; doesn&rsquo;t fly here.</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:39+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I am considering hosting a cocktail reception. We have 200 guests and this would save us a bundle of money. Does the number of guests matter?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Who should I seat next to whom at the head table? Is it boy/girl, or all the bridesmaids on one side and all the groomsmen on the other? Do I include the flower girl and ring bearer?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I had no intention of putting those disposable cameras on tables until my maid of honour suggested it. Will I miss out if I don't get them?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:37+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We have many children attending our reception, some as young as four and five years old. Do they need to get the same meal as the adult guests or can I arrange children's meals for them?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:50:28+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I agree that we do <em>not</em> want an open bar -- we actually do not want any alcohol at the wedding. The thing is that our reception site requires that you have an open bar and pay for it. And if you don't want a bar they make you pay extra. Do you have any suggestions on what we should do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I want to bring my cat (whom I&rsquo;ve had since childhood) on my honeymoon but my cat and my fiance hate each other. Whenever my fiance comes over, my cat growls at him for five minutes before retreating to the farthest corner of the farthest room. My fiance is dreading the extra &ldquo;baggage&rdquo; on our week-long getaway and has expressed adamant disapproval of my plan. What do I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:27+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>Does the couple have any say as to how their wedding video is edited?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:26+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>I'm concerned that my photographer won't get shots of all the important guests. How do I make sure this happens without being a total control freak?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:28+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>We're on a really tight budget. Is it smart to hire a photography student or ask one of our guests who's an amateur photographer to take pictures?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:27+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:12+00:00

<p>How can I make sure that my wedding video stays in good condition so we can enjoy it for years to come?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I thought I had my dream dress, but now I'm having second thoughts. It's almost perfect -- I'm just thinking now that instead of a straight-across strapless, I'd really like it to have more of a sweetheart neckline. Is this feasible?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:10+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>We are getting married in Greece, and only our immediate family will attend because of the distance. Upon our return, we will have two receptions (one in each of our home towns). Should the bride wear her wedding gown?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>This is my second wedding, my fianc&eacute;'s first. He wants me to wear white. Is it okay?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:07+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I'm wearing a fingertip length veil that does not detach from my headpiece. Should I remove the headpiece during our formal reception -- or should I keep wearing it?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:07+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Do I have to wear the veil over my face when I walk down the aisle, or can I have it back the whole time?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I'm in love with the idea of accessorising with gloves, but I'm not sure if they're right for me. I have a muscular build, large upper arms, and I'm only 5'2". Is there a dress out there that will work with me and my gloves?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I am a C-cup, and the last thing I want to worry about is falling out of my dress. What type of neckline would look best on me?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:05+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I want to wear a tiara, but I don't want to have my veil cover my entire head (and my hair, which will be pretty elaborate). Is it possible to have the veil start at the back of my head, or does it have to come from the tiara in the front of my head?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My friend and I will be married two weeks apart, and she (unknowingly) found the identical dress to mine and plans to wear it for her wedding, which is first. Even though she now knows of this dilemma, she still wants the dress. Many of the same people will attend both weddings. Is it unreasonable for me to ask her to find another dress since she has not purchased hers yet?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:07+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I want to wear gloves during the ceremony, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do when we exchange rings during the ceremony. Should I take the left glove off and put it back on after, or take both of them off at that point and leave them off?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:09+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I am having my bridal gown made by a dressmaker. Since I already have one child with my future husband and we already live together, what colour should my dress be? The wedding will take place in a chapel, not a church, but my mother still feels that I should have a slightly off-white dress.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:45+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I'm getting married in February in Townsville. The problem is that my hair is really wavy and tends to frizz when it's humid. How can I keep my hair under control. I'd like to blow it out and wear it straight but I'm afraid the second I step outside it'll explode into an unruly mess. Help!!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:46+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I was never really into wearing makeup but I'd like to wear some on my wedding day. The problem is that I don't really know how to put it on -- or what I even need to buy! Where do I begin?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I will be matron of honour at my sister-in-law's wedding (my husband's sister). I want to toast her and her groom, but I don't share a long history with them, and I don't know what's appropriate. Any ideas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I have a very close married friend who I would like to include in the wedding. I already have a Maid of Honour, and while I recognise that I could have a Matron of Honour as well, I really wanted to only recognise my Maid of Honour in that way. Can I have my married friend as a bridesmaid in the wedding?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>With the exception of one girlfriend, all of my close friends are guys. What am I supposed to do about the bridal shower, the hen's party and, most importantly, the wedding party? Also, my fianc&eacute; and I share many of the same friends, with only a few exceptions.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:49+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My wedding isn't for a while, however, one of my bridesmaids betrayed my trust. When I confronted her, her attitude upset me. My fianc&eacute; thinks that we should ask her to leave the wedding party. I'm torn. How does one remove a bridesmaid politely?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Are there guidelines for the number of bridal attendants I should have?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Is it appropriate for the groom's sister to give the bridal shower?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:57+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I want to invite long-distance cousins (bridesmaids) and two aunts who live far away to my shower. My mother thinks that is inappropriate and is only asking for a gift, since I know they will be unable to attend. What would you do in this situation?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; claims the groom doesn't have to attend the shower. I disagree (and so does my mum). I thought the idea was that guests were showering <em>us</em> with gifts, so we should both be there to open them. Can you clarify?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I come from a very small family, but my fianc&eacute;'s is quite large -- and all events are done to the max! My sister (my MOH) is going back and forth with my fianc&eacute;'s two sisters (who are also in the bridal party) and his mother about the size of the shower, who should be invited, and where it should be held. I have made it clear that I don't want a huge shower, and I don't want it held in a hall (too impersonal). Also, I don't feel that people I don't know should be invited. His sisters are still insisting on inviting all aunts, cousins, and close family friends. I've never met more than half of these people, or at most, I've met them once. My sister says she'll handle it, but I feel like I am already involved and need to help the situation. Is there anything I should do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Who pays for the bridal shower? Just the maid of honour? Can she ask for contributions?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I want just one attendant for each of us. My only sibling is my brother, but he&rsquo;s the person closest to me. What can I do?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:21+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My daughter asked me to be her matron of honour. I am, of course, very proud that she asked me -- but is this acceptable? I think I'll feel a bit self-conscious walking with the younger bridesmaids. What do you think?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>There is one particular dress that I absolutely love. It is very simple, but it fits my style and that of a semiformal wedding. I have also been looking at bridesmaids dresses that are similar in design. Is it okay for my bridesmaids to wear a dress similar to mine? Obviously, they would be in a colour other than white.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I don't want to make my bridesmaids wear the same dress -- one of them is overweight and would be uncomfortable in most dresses. Is it okay to ask each woman to wear a dress -- in a colour of my choosing -- that she feels comfortable in, regardless of style?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My attendants are scattered from Perth to Penrith. What's the best way to get them involved in choosing their bridesmaid dresses?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>How do I let my bridesmaids know that they have to pay for their own dresses? Two of them have never been in a wedding before, and I'm not sure if they'll think I'm being rude.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:21+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My MOH just told me that she will be eight months pregnant at my wedding! I'm more furious with her for not telling me that she was planning on getting pregnant. This would have made a difference, because she's the only one in the wedding that lives in my town. Now, although I'm happy for her, that's all she talks about and she never even asks how my wedding plans are going. My fianc&eacute; is ready to let her know exactly what he thinks of her, but I would still like her to be a part of the wedding. Is there any way to politely ask her if she would prefer the role of bridesmaid?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:21+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I'm planning to give my bridesmaids silver cuff bracelets as gifts and I would like to have their initials engraved on them. What is the proper order for engraving initials: first, middle, and then last? Or does the last name initial go in the middle? They are all unmarried too -- does that make a difference?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I want to get married in April, but I also want pastel yellow bridesmaid dresses. Is it inappropriate to have a pastel colour in autumn?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:26+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I have a maid of honour (my sister) and 6 bridesmaids. I want my sister to be the maid of honour, but one of my bridesmaids came up to me and said that she was surprised that I didn't ask her to be my matron of honour. She told me that a matron of honour was a member of the wedding party that is married. I have learned that it is only *one* person: maid of honour if you're single, matron of honour if you're married. What should I do? I don't want any hurt feelings, but I only want one honour attendant, and that's my sister.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>The bridesmaid dress I like is sleeveless and my dress is not. All four of my bridesmaids said they would feel comfortable in a sleeveless dress, and the two maids who tried it on really liked it, but I'm concerned that I'm violating some rule of etiquette. How closely do the bridesmaid dresses have to match the bride's gown?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I've just started looking at bridesmaid dresses, and the navy blue ones I've seen look fabulous! Is it okay to have navy dresses on the bridesmaids and black tuxedos on the groomsmen, or is that a clashing fashion faux pas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:25+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I have been asked by a friend to be her maid of honour. We were close in high school, but besides a regular phone chat, we have not seen each other in more than three years. I have made every effort to make plans to see her over the years, but she always finds a way to get out of it. I really don't feel comfortable being her maid of honour. I know she really does not have anyone else, so I do not want to abandon her. What should I do? Should I consider being a bridesmaid at all?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and his family are from overseas. I asked his sister and three Australian women to be my bridesmaids. I realised that it was the custom in their country for the bride to pay for the dresses, but I explained to her that this was generally not the custom over here and that the bridesmaids would be paying their own way. She and the rest of my fianc&eacute;'s family think this is very rude. Any advice?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:03+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I'm having a bit of trouble with my bridesmaids and their dresses. They insist that the new etiquette is that since they are paying half of the cost of their dresses (my parents and I are paying the rest), they have the right to choose the dress. The only input I would have is the colour. Are they telling me the truth or just being difficult?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Recently, one of my bridesmaids backed out of my wedding, citing personal and financial problems. She feels that a "friend would understand" her situation. Personally, I have always thought that a bridesmaid should be there for the bride no matter what; to prove it, I am committed to be in her wedding (six months before mine) even though I am relocating across the country and will have to fly in for her bridal shower and the big day. I should also note that she has already kicked a mutual friend out of her bridal party because of a miscommunication. So, just what <em>are</em> the obligations of a bridesmaid to a bride? And do I have a right to back out of her wedding because she backed out of mine?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I can't decide on wedding colours for my summer wedding. Green is my favourite colour, but I don't know which shade I should use. I was also considering having bridesmaid dresses that are similar in style but different in colour. Is that too radical? I think that a variety would really fit my personality. If so, which colours?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I want to know more about who should be invited to the bridesmaid luncheon. The bridesmaids are obviously invited, but are there any unspoken rules about certain family and friends I should invite? Or is it up to the bride hosting the luncheon?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I have a dear sister-in-law who is about to get married. She is having a very simple wedding, but she is facing one uncertainty. Her father is deceased and she has three sons. We're wondering if it would be okay for her oldest son to give her away at her wedding.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:21+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Both my father and mother are walking me down the aisle. I just found out that my future mother-in-law wants to walk my husband-to-be down the aisle, too. I know this is the norm in Jewish weddings, but can this be done in a Catholic ceremony? How?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:21+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Is there a type of wedding ceremony that's groomsmen only (i.e. no bridesmaids)?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I would love to celebrate my family's Italian background at my wedding. Do you have any ideas for fun traditions I can incorporate into the celebration?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>What is the meaning of "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue"?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>What is the history behind using aisle runners, and do I have to use one?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:14+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are Australian citizens but we&rsquo;ve decided to get married in Paris, where we originally met a few years back. How do we find out about marriage licence requirements in that country?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:15+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I live in Broome and plan to have a private ceremony in the Dominican Republic. I don't know how to proceed in terms of getting the marriage licence and planning with a resort. Any ideas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:05+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My mother and father are divorced and have both remarried. I am ordering corsages for my mum, grandmothers, and the groom's mum; my question is, should I also order a corsage for my stepfather's mum even though our relationship is not one of grandmother/granddaughter? My mum says it's only right, but is it? I don't feel she deserves the recognition of a grandmother to me since I don't consider her one.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:29+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>How should divorced parents walk into the reception? My mother will be alone, and my fianc&eacute;'s mum doesn't want to walk in with her ex who has been remarried for about 14 years. What can I do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:05+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute;'s parents are divorced and are not on good terms. How should I place them in the receiving line, and should their spouses be included?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I want do something different: I want to ask my boyfriend to marry me. But I'm having trouble finding an engagement ring for him. Where should I look?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>What is the best way to tell our kids we're getting married? Our daughters have both said they will not live with us if we get married; our two sons are more accepting of this marriage. Should we let them all know ASAP so they can get used to the idea? Should we tell them separately or together?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I know that you should announce the engagement to your parents first, but what do you do when people notice your ring? Should you not wear it until you tell both sets of parents?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:28+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My future mother-in-law has no idea how to dress. We went shopping, and she bought a white cotton dress to wear to my wedding! I didn't have the heart to tell her at the time that she shouldn't wear that dress. My mother is wearing a very classy midnight blue evening gown. How do I politely tell my future mother-in-law that her dress is not appropriate for the wedding?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:28+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>One of the biggest benefits to planning my wedding has been how much closer I've gotten with my mum and dad. They've been there for me every step of the way, and it's meant so much to me. I'd love to recognise them at our rehearsal dinner and honour them with a gift, but will it seem like I'm snubbing my in-laws if I do?</p>

2009-08-24T03:47:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Should the father of the groom wear a tux? If so, should the groom decide what his dad wears?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:35+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute;'s father is gay. Although my fianc&eacute; doesn't mind, he has trouble telling other people. Is it impolite to tell his father he cannot bring his partner, so he won't be embarrassed on our wedding day?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:10+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Following the wedding, I am moving to a different state to live with my future husband. I know wedding gifts are not to be expected (and I don't want to infer that in any way) but because I will be moving and I know some people will want to bring gifts, is it appropriate to ask guests to give us gift certificates instead? That way we don't have to move a bunch of wedding gifts to another state.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:25+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Should my fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I purchase gifts for our parents, as we did for our wedding party?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:08+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Are there guidelines for how many items to put on your registry? I'm trying to include a variety of things (in a variety of price ranges) so that people will have plenty to choose from. I've been frustrated in the past trying to buy gifts for friends with limited registries, but I don't want people thinking, "Jeez, they sure want a lot of stuff!"</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:49+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>How many stores are appropriate to select when it&rsquo;s time to register? I only want a few quality items from certain specialty stores. I don&rsquo;t want to seem picky and greedy if I register at more than three different stores.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:51+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>If you give a gift of money at the wedding ceremony, to whom should the cheque be made out? Bride and/or groom? Married names or names before marriage?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Do you think it's impolite to buy off-registry?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:50+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Is it proper etiquette to send a wedding gift to the bride and groom's home prior to the wedding, or to bring the gift to the reception?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:48+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Do you have to register specifically for the shower, or do you just register once for everything?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I want to have two girlfriends stand up with me at my wedding -- a maid of honour, as well as a matron of honour. Since I like symmetry, there needs to be two men on the groom's side, but what would their titles be? We don't want to designate one as more important than the other.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>If a bride wants her brother in the wedding (she has no sisters) but the groom says he alone picks the groomsmen and is not considering the brother of bride, how do you handle it? Who wins?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:37+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; doesn't have a best man. Can we have a wedding without one?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:04+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Our reception will be a formal party at an urban photography gallery instead of a traditional reception. My dress is going to be a light gold, with maids and groomsmen in black with light gold accents. Is it okay to ask the guests to dress in black and white only, for a "black and white" party?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:59+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I'm a teacher, and I would love to invite my close group of colleagues to my wedding. But we can't afford to have all their families come too. I also don't want them to feel like they need to give us gifts. What is the proper etiquette for inviting a group of people rather than a family?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:49+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My reception site can only hold 100, but I can invite as many as 200 to the wedding. How do I word the invitations?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:02+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I have a good friend from university that I want to invite to my wedding. But I'm worried she won't have a good time. She's single, and I will be the only person there that she knows. It would be one thing if we were having a lot of other unattached guests, but pretty much all our other friends are paired off. Still, she knows about the wedding, so I don't want to hurt her feelings. What should I do?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:05+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>In an attempt to keep our wedding guest list down, I do not plan on inviting my boss or any of my co-workers. I know my co-workers will be fine with this, but I am concerned that my boss will take it as a personal snub. I'm not very close with this person, yet I'm worried about my working environment when I return from the honeymoon. Any advice?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:00+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>What&rsquo;s the correct way to write out place cards for single people with dates? I&rsquo;m guessing &ldquo;and Guest&rdquo; doesn&rsquo;t fly here.</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:42+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are both outdoor sports lovers and want an adventurous honeymoon that will also afford us some downtime. Do you have any ideas?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>We've decided to spend our honeymoon relaxing in the Whitsundays. Do you have any ideas for, ahem, mood enhancing items I might want to pack to help set the scene for romance?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I'm sending a few invitations overseas. Do I put return postage on the response envelopes, since other countries use different postage?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My father passed away when I was young, and my mother never remarried. My fianc&eacute; and his mother are definitely doing a mother-son dance at our reception, and I think I'd like to honour my parent in the same way. Would it be too weird if we do a mother-daughter dance?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:25+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Our DJ asked us for a song list for our reception. I have no idea what the right ratio of fast vs. slow songs should be. Any ideas?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I are totally aware of the bad effects of tossing rice. Is there another way we can incorporate the rice without tossing it when we leave the church? We love the fact that it symbolises prosperity and fertility.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Our summer garden ceremony is scheduled for 4:30 p.m. Is it proper for my fianc<em>&eacute;</em> to wear a formal tuxedo and for me to don a ball gown? I say we should do what we like. However, everyone (family, friends, and every bridal boutique I have visited) tells us that we would be dressed much too formally for that time of day and setting. Their reason is simply, "That's the way it's supposed to be -- everybody knows that rule." Rule? What rule?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:54+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I really want to do something great for our wedding bombineres, but I'm worried about the cost. Where can I find the best deals?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:59+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I plan on carrying a freeze-dried rose bouquet down the aisle. Unfortunately, I cannot afford the same for my four bridesmaids. Do you have another suggestion?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Do the mums have to have matching corsages? My mum likes roses while his likes orchids. Can I personalise them?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Do you have to give bombonieres to every guest, or can you give them per couple? I picked a favour that's a bit expensive.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I would like to have bombonieres at our reception, but some wedding advice "experts" are not in "favour of favours." I want to make it something my guests won't forget. What's your opinion?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:57+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I'm not sure whether to use real or silk flowers for my wedding. Can you give me an idea of the benefits of using silk?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Neither of us is very into the idea of plain white wedding cake -- chocolate is more our taste. What kinds of fillings and flavours can we pair with it to make it even more unusual?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Why is my reception site charging me a cake cutting fee?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:30+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I recently got engaged, but we are not getting married until next year. When should I start looking for a reception site?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:57+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Besides the wedding party, who traditionally receives a corsage or boutonniere?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I have decided to use bubbles instead of rice (don't want to harm our feathered friends). Do I need someone to hand them out?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:58+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I'm kind of a traditionalist and want to focus on white flowers for both my bouquet and the centrepieces. My mum keeps warning me the flowers will look boring. Is she right? How can I still have all-white flowers and make it interesting?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:59+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My wedding gown dress is diamond white, but I've always wanted to carry a bouquet of white calla lilies, my favourite flowers, down the aisle. Will the flowers look too yellow or dirty against my pure white gown?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I really want my guests to blow bubbles as we leave the church. But one of my friends told me that bubbles can stain your clothes! Is this true?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:39+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Can my baker supply a cake topper for me? Or do I have to buy one myself?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Is it okay for us to attend our cocktail hour? My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> would really like to, I'm just not sure how it would work. Would we still be able to be announced at the reception?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:29+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My husband-to-be and I do not drink wine or champagne. Do we still have to supply bottles on each table for the toasts?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:13+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>We are both big foodies and really want to have delicious food at our reception. How can we ensure that happens?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:31+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Which type of meal is cheaper -- a seated dinner, a buffet, or finger foods?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I am having an afternoon wedding. Is it okay to have dancing at the reception, or is that usually for evening weddings?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Should the bride and groom's parents greet everyone at the reception by going around to their tables?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:34+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>We're planning to have a 7 p.m. candlelight ceremony followed by a reception with a sit-down dinner. We've had a few people say they thought that was too late for dinner. But due to the church's time constraints, we can't have the ceremony any earlier. What should we do?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc<em>&eacute;</em> and I are planning a morning wedding with a brunch reception. We're planning on serving scones, muffins, eggs and bacon, typical stuff (the reception will be at 11:30). The thing is, I want a cake! It's been my dream since I was a little girl to have a big wedding cake, but will this midday reception ruin that? Is there something light you can suggest so that people won't be consuming massive amounts of sugar that early?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:30+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>We are looking for an interesting way to let our guests know where they are seated at our reception. Picture frames with their name and table number at the entrance table is great, but it has already been done by several of our friends who will be there. Any new ideas?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:39+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My mother insists that we serve dessert in addition to the wedding cake -- she believes the cake should be sliced for guests to take home. I think dessert and cake is too much, so I was planning to have a tray of cake set on each table, with cake bags available if anyone wants to take some home. What's appropriate?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:34+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I want an evening wedding, but I don't want to serve dinner. What would be an appropriate time to schedule the wedding if I just served cake, nuts, mints, etc.?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My boyfriend of several years and I have decided to marry but there&rsquo;s a catch: He&rsquo;s in the midst of a lengthy divorce process and is having some trouble detaching himself from his first wife. It&rsquo;s been five years, and she is still wrangling over details and refuses to sign the papers. We&rsquo;re eager to be married but the legal details of his divorce seem to have no end. Is there any way we can proceed with our plans and at least get a marriage licence?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>The man I'm marrying has a son who will be nine years old when we get married. I want to give him something during the ceremony to show that I am not just marrying his father, but joining his family too! I have no idea what to get him. Can you help?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>What is the appropriate wording to announce our marriage? We have both been married before and the wedding is for family and closest friends only. There are many people we wish to inform of our union, yet we do not want gifts. Do you have examples?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:39+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>The most wonderful man has asked me to marry him! He is kind, considerate, and Catholic. He is also divorced. In order to be married in a church (which I fully intend to do), what are the necessary proceedings?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>We're getting married in July and this will be the second marriage for both of us. When I mentioned invitations to my mother, she was appalled that I was even considering them. She said that you don't send invitations when you remarry -- that it's the same as asking for a gift. Is this true? I don't care about gifts -- I just want everyone to know I've found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with!</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:44+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My friend is getting married for the third time. She needs to get her invitations printed ASAP. What name should she use -- her maiden name or her last husband's name?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:43+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>I just got engaged, but my mother told me she won't help at all because this will be my third marriage and she is tired of the whole "routine." How should I handle my mother and family? (I feel funny inviting my relatives to a third wedding). Who should I invite, and who should pay for a "third time's the charm" wedding?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:46:25+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>Neither my fianc&eacute; nor I like to have our pictures taken. I can never put on a "real-looking" smile, and he is a complete disaster when it comes to "saying cheese." Any ideas for how we can look relaxed, natural and happy, instead of posed?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:28+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>How do bridal portraits work? I feel strange about wearing my actual wedding attire before my wedding.</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:26+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I recently met with a number of caterers. We had four tastings, and the winning caterer turned out to be the last one we saw. I now have to tackle the dreaded task of saying "no thanks" to the other caterers. They were all great and quite amazing in terms of service, so I want to handle this correctly. What exactly should I say to them? Should I call them or write an email? If they ask me which caterer I chose instead, should I tell them?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:28+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:11+00:00

<p>What should a good videographer include in the price of a package?</p>

2009-08-24T03:46:59+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>If a couple has been living together for two years and has a child, a house, and two cars, is a shower really necessary?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:01+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>What is appropriate attire for a junior bridesmaid (age 12)? Should she wear a dress that matches the older bridesmaids' or one that matches the flower girl's?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:20+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>Is it appropriate for my mother to give me away in my wedding? My father expects to, but he hasn't been a part of my life since I was 2.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I are having an elaborate Catholic wedding. His best man is Catholic but my maid of honour is Jewish. Is our priest going to object to this?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:24+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>Is there a rule as to which side each family (the bride's and groom's) sits during the ceremony?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:16+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>My minister has requested that no pictures be taken during the exchange of vows. How do I let my guests know without sounding rude?</p>

2009-08-24T03:45:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>Why does the groom carry the bride over the threshold?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:52+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>Does tradition dictate that the wedding band be gold, or can it be another material, such as platinum?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:49:40+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>My husband and I tied the knot in July. I did not change my name because I disagree with that tradition. My birthday was last week, and I received several cards addressed to "Mrs. Smith" (my husband's last name). How do I politely let these people know I haven't changed my name? I sent thank you notes with my last name in CAPS on the envelope, but some people just did't get the hint. I'm about to scream! What should I do, short of returning future mail with the incorrect last name circled and "No Such Person" written across the envelope?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:29+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>My fianc&eacute; and I have been together for 8 years, and just recently set a wedding date. His 23-year-old brother is always rude to me when we are in the same room, and has twice even referred to me using a racial slur. This has been going on about 2 1/2 years, and I've never done anything to antagonise him. My fianc&eacute; excuses his brother's behaviour, saying he doesn't mean those things, or that he was "only joking". This weekend the brother asked if he could be the best man in our wedding, and my fianc&eacute; said yes. I am livid. I feel that giving him this honour is condoning the lack of respect his brother has shown me. I have explained all of this to my fianc&eacute; and he has agreed to consider "un-asking" his brother. Am I being unreasonable? And if not, how can he do this without starting a major battle? His brother is a spoiled brat, and we are worried about how he'll take the news.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:47:32+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>My son recently got engaged to a lovely girl, but we don't know her parents. Should we call them up and invite them to dinner, or is it up to them to make the first move? They live about two hours away from us.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:36+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>Where I can find a listing of the duties for the best man? Ours is clueless...lovable, but clueless. Where would I find a clear, concise, thorough list? Thanks.</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:56+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>Is it a must to invite each attendant's parents?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:53+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>Is a 5 p.m. wedding in April too early to ask guests to wear black tie?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>My mum offered to pay for our honeymoon and, without asking, booked a cruise to New Zealand leaving the day after our wedding. Am I wrong for being mad?</p>

2009-08-24T03:44:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>We are taking off for a week of sun and fun. Here's my problem -- my medicine chest and makeup bag are bursting at the seams. Which toilettries are a must to bring along?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:44:55+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>At what age are girls too old to be flower girls?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:11+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

Should we tip our vendors? My fiance says that it seems crazy since we're already paying so much for their services, but at the same time, I know they're working really hard and I don't want us to seem impolite.

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:45:41+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>Does our wedding cake have to be white?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-24T03:48:23+00:00 2009-09-29T00:53:10+00:00

<p>What are the traditional and modern gifts for a 24th wedding anniversary?</p>

The Knot 2009-08-07T02:48:08+00:00 2009-09-25T04:07:25+00:00