Bothered Brides

I’m not one of these people who necessarily agrees with the “it’s YOUR day” mentality. it’s not just about you, it’s about your guests, otherwise you’d just run off and elope.

however, outside of that it is not appropriate for his mother to be rude to your mother. who is paying for the wedding? if his mother is paying it doesn’t mean she’s allowed to say and do whatever she likes.  there needs to be clear boundaries regarding appropriate behaviour and in this case it needs to come from your fiance because it sounds like it’s his mother that’s causing the problem.

I wouldn’t be engaging his mother in conversations about whatever it is she’s being critical of. re her opinions on parenting styles, this is somewhat of a moot point anyway because you’re both grown adults. how your mother raised you is none of his mother’s concern. even if she is financing the day it’s a wedding for the both of you and while her suggestions should be considered carefully it is both rude and inappropriate for her to feel that she is entitled to decide who is and isn’t involved in the planning.

weddings are a coming together of families, not an excuse for one woman to live vicariously through her son by controlling the planning.

if there’s any further displays of self absorbed, attention seeking behaviour it needs to be nipped in the bud.

perhaps your mum also needs to manage her expectations in terms of her relationship with his mum. everyone is different and just because 2 people get married doesn’t mean their parents will all get along. of course it’s easier if everyone can be civil and pleasant but the world’s not going to fall apart if they don’t like each other. there’s obviously other issues here but your mum doesn’t need to be her best friend either. this is not about his mother. your mum’s got more important things to focus on, like your wedding day =)